New World, New Rules
by Tapangwa
Summary: COMPLETE! rated for later chapter. using a machine Zim made, Dib and Zim get transported into another dimension where everyone or almost is a different gender. ZaDr and Femmeslash
1. he's everthing you want

Tapan: my first public Invader Zim slash! I'm so proud D

Torna: oh boy…

Tapan: This storyline was inspired by both a fic by Bonnie1 (I should make that a favorite) and my brother constantly telling me I'm very Dib-like.

Torna: hmm, you are if you think about it. You talk to the point where people think your crazy, you tend to scream when you don't think people are listening, you have a huge head

Tapan: (feels head) I do not! And for the record, Gaz's head is the same size as Dib's, his hair just makes it look bigger.

Torna: mmmm….no… he just has a big head.

Tapan: siiiigh. Anywho, on to the story!

Disclaimer: I no own Invader Zim and unless I magically turn into a short skinny guy named Jhonen Vasquez, I'm never going to. And this is why I'm writing fanfics!

Zim and Dib stood outside the High Skool, staring each other down. In Zim's hand was a small, black device, a smirk on his green face. Dib just stood there, confused.

"Okay." The human adjusted his glasses slightly before looking back up at the irken. "Explain this to me again."

Zim sighed and shook his head slightly. "Listen closely, stink-beast. For it is the last time I'll explain it." He waved the device around in the air, making squeaking noises as his arm moved. "I'm going to teleport you into ANOTHER DIMENTION! That way, you cannot get in the way of me anymore."

"Okay, that's the part that I don't get." Dib adjusted his book bag slightly. "Your leaders told you six months ago that your mission was a lie. Tak told you that around six YEARS ago, and just last night, your leaders told you to stop calling them. So why continue?"

The not so little irken sighed loudly as if Dib were the stupidest person in the world. "You just don't get it." Zim pressed a few buttons on the little device. "Now be gone with you!" a beam shot out, barely missing Dib's foot.

"Hey!" he jumped at he saw the irken running toward him, the machine pointed at him.

And so he ran with Zim on his tail.

"Leave me alone, you psycho!"

"Not until you gone from this world, Dib-stink!" the remote-like instrument shot anther beam, this time hitting a parked car. The car disappeared without a trace.

Still running, Dib could see Gaz walking ahead, absorbed in her game.

"Gaz! Help me!" he ran up to his sister. She only gave a grunt in respond.

"Looking to be saved by little Gaz? PATHEDIC!" Zim leapt at Dib, successfully talking him to the ground.

Gaz turned around and cocked an eyebrow at the two. "Couldn't you two do that somewhere else? Kids play around here and I don't think their parents want them watching to guys go at it."

"Not…funny." The boy struggled with the alien until the beam shot them both then fell to the side.

Gaz could see Zim's eye get wide before he and her brother completely disappeared, leaving the small machine behind.

Meanwhile, at that exact same spot in another dimension:

"I hear Mr. Bitters is moving up to the high skool."

"Bitters? I thought he was dead!"

"Well you thought wrong, didn't you, Deb-human?" the irken female tugged playfully at the human's coat, smiling.

She snorted and continued to walk. She paused when she heard screaming. "Hey, Tam. Do you hear that?" the screaming got louder still.

Tam looked up just in time to see two people fall from the sky, directly on her girlfriend. And seeing this, she did what any other insane irken would do.

She laughed.

"Ooh, the pain!" a male version of her lover sat up, rubbing his head. "What'd we land on?"

"The ground. This is all your fault!" A male version of herself brought his head out of the gravel and glared at the human.

"My fault? If it wasn't for your stupid attempt to get rid of me, we wouldn't"

"Hey, this is all lovely but would you two mind getting off me? I would like to pop my spine back in place." They both looked down at the girl they landed on.

Processing what she said, Dib quickly stood up. Zim, on the other hand, sat on her chest, staring down at her.

"Zim! Get off her!" the boy took the male irken by the arm and pulled him off her.

Tam walked over to the hole, looking in cautiously. "Are you okay?"

"It hurts." Deb moved slightly, a loud crack echoed in the street.

"Do you need help?"

"No, I think I got it." She stood up and gingerly climbed out.

"She looks like you, Dib." Zim poked Dib's arm slightly

"Thank you captain obvious."

"Who is this 'captain obvious'? I am ZIM!"

Dib shook his head.

"Are you two done now?" the two boys turned to Tam, who stood in front of them, arms crossed. "Because I would really like to know where you two came from and why you look like the stink beast behind me and why you look like me in some fashion."

Deb glared at the back of Tam's head before walking up next to her.

Dib rubbed the back of his head, chuckling nervously. "It's kind of hard to explain."

"No it isn't, human beast of smell. We simple were zapped into this dimension due to my AMAZING invention."

"So where's the invention?"

"Back in our dimension." With an after thought, Dib added, "with my sister."

Deb's eye twitched. If his sister was like her brother, then there's no way they're getting back.

"Well, I guess you'll need a place to stay while it all gets figured out." Tam looked over at Deb, smiling. "Isn't that right?"

Deb eyed the irken. "Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"I say you take the boys to your place until it all gets figured out."

"What! Why me? You live alone!"

"No I don't!"

"GIR doesn't count. He doesn't take up any room!"

"He takes up plenty of room! And besides, the human will get into my lab!"

"I'm sure he's seen it all before."

The two boys stood there, while the girls' fought, blank expressions on their faces.

"Hey!" the girls turned to Dib, glaring slightly. "What if Zim, goes to the base and I go home with you?"

Deb stood up straight and thought about it. "That might work."

" But it wouldn't be nice to separate you two."

Zim cocked an eyebrow at Tam. "Eh?"

"Yeah, that works!" Deb cupped her hand around the female invader's mouth before she could respond to Zim. "Off we go!" with that; she walked away, leaving the other three to follow

"Gim! I'm home!" Deb stepped inside the house, leaving the door open to allow in her male counterpart. "You'll never guess what happened today."

Dib heard a familiar, yet more masculine, grunt from the couch. He looked over to see a boy with short magenta hair sitting in front of the TV, squinted eyes on his game as Deb continued to talk. "I was walking home, when a boy version of me and Tam fell from the sky and landed on me."

Gim glared at his sister. "And you didn't die?" Deb just stared at him as he turned back to his game. "I'm guessing that's him behind me."

"Yeah." Her voice was flat.

Dib cautiously moved around the couch to see Gim. The younger boy looked up at Dib. "He looks just like you." One of his squinted eyes opened to look at his older sister. "I told you you're a tomboy as well as a dyke. With a giant head."

"My head's not big!" Deb yelled before storming upstairs.

Dib still stood right next to the couch, his eye twitching at the familiarity of the conversation, before following his female counterpart upstairs. Without knocking, he walked into the room to see her sitting on the computer, the swollen eyeball symbol on the screen. "I'm going to figure out a way to get you two home."

"Dark Bootie here."

"Hey!" Dib pointed at the computer screen. "Dark Bootie is exactly the same!"

"Really?" Deb looked back at the screen. "That's weird."

"Who's that with you, Silk Moth?"

"That's kind of why I called you."

Tapan: eh, it's short, but that's okay. The next chapter'll be longer! i'm also not entirely happy with the set up... R&R please!


	2. he's everything you need

Tapan: I got soooo many nice reviews, I thought I'd continue!

Torna/sighs/

Tapan: ok, this chapter is longer than the last one and, I think, better put together! So let's get it ON!

Disclaimer: invader Zim is not mine. In fact, Deb and Tam (their female versions) are hardly mine either, so don't sue. I'm a poor poor flower shop girl.

* * *

"Amazing." Tam sat in her lab, wide eyed and astonished. "That is quite the ingenious plan to destroying the human."

Zim chuckled. "Yes, I know."

With a little bit of thought, Tam spoke again. "Why don't you jut recreate the dimension transmitting device?"

"Because the one I built before was set to send things to different dimensions randomly. It' could take years for us to get back to the right one."

"Oh." The two irken sat in the lab, thinking.

Before long, they heard a glitched voice shrill happily at the top of his mechanical lungs. Following the scream came GIR, still in his green puppy disguise. The little robot ran around the lab, oblivious to Zim's presence, and the annoyance of his master.

"GIR! Calm down! You're giving me a headache." Tam leaned back in her chair slightly as GIR approached her.

"Awww. Master's in pain!" with that, the top of his head opened up and out came a small aspirin bottle. He then jumped up on Tam and proceeded to dump the bottle on her head. "FEEL BETTER!"

"No! GIR!" Tam screeched as she brush the small tablets off her.

Falling off her lap, GIR turned to see Zim watching them. "HEY! What is you doin' here?"

Zim wasn't too sure how to respond to the little robot, so he simply glared and said, "mind your business."

GIR pouted, then retreated into the small elevator. The door shuts as the elevator goes up.

"Interesting story, Silk Moth." Dark Bootie rubbed his chin, eyes squinting thoughtfully. "And you say this machine is still in your dimension, Mothman?"

Dib nodded.

The silhouette sat back slightly and stayed silent as the two paranormalists watched. After a full minute passed, he leaned close to the screen again, eyeing Dib. "I can't promise will find anything, but I'll see what we can do. Until then, Silk Moth," the screen turned to Deb. "I believe it would be best if you go to your alien friend's base and find out if she can recreate the machine. Let me know what you find." The screen went dead.

"So…"Deb sighed and looked at her companion. "We're going to the base?"

"Unless you have any better ideas."

Dib paused, then shook his head. The two walked out of the room and out of the house.

GIR sat on the couch, disguise free, eating rabbit pellets while watching the scary monkey. Suddenly the doorbell rang. He screamed for a second before walking up to the door. He looked up and smiled widely at the girl standing on his master porch. "Hiya, Mrs. Big Head!"

Deb just glared for a second before picking GIR up by the antennae and moving him carefully out of the way. He simply giggled as she walked passed, Dib following closely behind.

"Is Tam downstairs?"

GIR nodded. "She's down there with her friend, Zimmy. I like Zimmy, he looks fun!" the SIR unit looked over at Dib, innocent blue eyes looking at him happily. "Do you have fun with Zimmy, like master does with Deb big head?"

"Uuuh." A small blush crossed Dib's pale features at the innuendo. GIR smiled innocently.

Deb's eyes widened at the android, a deeper blush stained her cheeks. "Uh! I'll see ya later, GIR." She walked briskly into the kitchen, Dib still following.

GIR ran to her side quickly, seeming to panic. "I WANT GUM!"

Deb sighed and dug through her pocket slightly before pulling out a crushed pack of gum and handing it to the little robot. GIR just shoved the whole thing in his mouth, chewing happily as the two humans opened the refrigerator and walked onto the elevator that lay behind.

"We could burn cats!" Tam's finger pointed to the ceiling for dramatic affect.

Zim cocked a non-existent eyebrow. "What good would that do us?"

Tam lowered her arm and shrugged. "I donno, but it would make me feel better."

The elevator door opened, allowing Deb and a slightly confused Dib to walk out.

/something's not right here. She doesn't sneak around the base./ his thoughts paused. /it's like it's another home to her./

Dib looked over to the two aliens, now out of their disguises. Tam's antennas were longer than Zim's, almost hanging down to her shoulders. The tips curled, much like Tak's, but outward instead of in. here eyes were the same deep crimson as her counterpart, but seemed wider with the lashes that seemed to sprout for the lids.

Dib couldn't deny it. Evil or not, the irkens were beautiful.

"Did you find anything?" Deb flopped down on the floor, looking up at Tam.

Tam shook her head. "It seems they'll be stuck here for a while. Zim said he created the machine to throw him into dimensions randomly, so we need the dimension coordinates before anything else."

"And how do we find that."

Tam froze. "I—um…. don't know."

"Great work, space boy." Dib mumbled darkly, glaring at Zim.

"Hey, if you went alone, we wouldn't be in this problem!"

"Yeah, your right, I'd be in this problem, and I'd come back and kick your ass!"

"What's wrong with right now, Human! Come on, here and now!"

Tam and Deb just watch the two argue, looked at each other and laughed. At the sound, the two boys turned to face them, confused.

"Sorry! Please, continue! You two just look so cute!" Tam smiled at them widely. Deb simply bit back a smirk.

Dib opened his mouth to respond, but abruptly closed it. Zim just glanced back and forth, confused.

Deb chuckled softly before standing. "Well, it's getting late, maybe we should get going."

Tam's antennas perked up slightly. "Wait, Deb. I wanna talk to you first. Privately."

Deb smiled, much to the boys' confusion. "It'll have to wait until tomorrow. I'll see you in Skool, alien scum."

"Bite me, stink-beast." Tam gave a mock glare.

/Ooh, sounds kinky. / Deb had to stop herself from saying the words and instead just smiled and walked into the waiting elevator with Dib following once again.

"Whoooo! YEEEAAAAAH!" Gir stopped running as the refrigerator door opened and the two humans stepped out.

He smiled up at them. "it be raining out! RAINING!" with that, he slammed his face up to the window, looking outside happily.

Dib and Deb frown before the male paranormalist opens the door slowly. The sky was dark (which would make sense being that it's now night.) but had an eerie red tint to it. The raindrops fell in big drops. Thunder rolled loudly in the background.

"Well, isn't this lovely?" Deb sighed and pulled her trench coat over her head before walking out. Dib didn't bother and just ran out into the rain as if he could avoid it if he ran fast enough.

"Bye Mr. And Mrs. Big Head. I'll see ya later!" with that, GIR slammed the door, leaving the two humans to run home.

At the membrane house, a few minutes later, Dib and Deb ran inside, panting and soaking wet. Dib took off his glasses and shook the water off like a dog, spraying it all over Deb. He looked up at the girl, realized what he did and laughed sheepishly. "Sorry."

Deb rolled her eyes slightly before walking upstairs. "I might have some clothes that'll fit you, but there are no promises."

Dib followed the wet girl up to her room, where she pulled out two towels and began digging though her drawer while drying herself off.

After a minute's search, she made a noise of triumph and pulled out a solid black shirt. "It's baggy on me, so it should fit you." She peeked back in the drawer slightly. "I don't think I'm gonna find any pants that'll fit you though." She then stuck her hand back in to pull out some clothes for herself.

Dib took the shirt from her and held it up with a slight frown. Shrugging off his sobbing wet coat, he peeled off his shirt shyly and pulled the black one on to find it a bit snug. "And this was loose on you…. where?"

"hmm. It'll have to do until your clothes dry. I don't know what we're gonna do for your pant though." Walking over to her closet and pushing aside all the dark coat and blue shirts, Deb came across an old dress. Smirking she pulled it up and held it up. "This would be the best I could do."

"Uh, I'm fine. Thanks."

Deb smiled and, without thought, pulled off her shirt. Dib's eyes widened and he immediately turned around, allowing her privacy.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." She pulled the dry shirt on quickly and pulled off her pants.

"That's okay."

"It shouldn't really matter anyway, being your preference and all." She started to pull her pants over her legs when she realized what she said.

Dib's head turned slightly. "What?"

"Uh.." /DAMN HABIT OF THINKING ALOUD/ "Nothing, just ignore me." She paused. "Y-you can turn around now."

Dib turned around to see Deb turned away from him. He slowly walked up behind her as she spun around, a smile now in place. "So, you're sleeping in the bed for the night!"

Tam stood in front of the doors to the high Skool and sighed. Last night, they made no progress and if they had they wouldn't have noticed, they spent the whole time arguing. Who knew two people of the same personality could get on each other's nerves?

"Good morning." Tam turned to the sound of the tired voice to see Deb. Bags hung under her half closed eyes. Her black hair was slightly ruffled.

"Wow, you look terrible! What happened?"

"Gee thanks." Deb yawned. "I slept in the computer chair. Then, when I realized how uncomfortable that is, I decided to work on stuff on the computer."

"What stuff?"

The paranormalist held up a small disk. "I saw how well you and Zim get along." She studied the disk in her hand. "And if it were a few years earlier, it'd be in a mailbox on its way to Mysterious Mysteries." She put the disk back in her coat and walked into the skool. "Oh yeah, and Dib doesn't know he's gay."

"Oh isn't that a shame. Zim has a crush on him! Of course, he never said that but it's apparent."

Back in Deb's room, Dib sat up abruptly and looked at the clock. A second later, he remembered past events and realized he wouldn't have school in this dimension. With a sigh, he plopped his head back down on the pillow, then noticed his shirt and trench coat sitting on the chair with a note attached to them.

Now slightly curious, he sat up and took the letter off the clothing articles.

Dib,

I cleaned your shirt for you so you don't have to walk around in my clothes, maybe next time we should ask Gim for some clothes (if there will be a next time.) don't wander too far and try and avoid my mother if you can. She'll most likely be in her lab the whole day, but I guess I don't have to tell you that. If you feel you're in dire need of a shower DON'T USE THE ONE AT HOME! Go to Tam's, she has a shower set up there, (not that she would have any reason for one…) and if you do, please don't spend the whole time fighting with Zim. See you when I get home.

Deb

Thinking for a second he came to the conclusion that a shower might be a good idea. Grabbing the coat and shirt, he walked out of the house cautiously.

Zim growled from his seat on the couch, kicking at the floor a little. The day hardly started and he's never felt so bored. If it were his dimension, he'd either be at school or working on his new plan. But it wasn't and Tam seemed to have her own agenda. He could also be working on the dimension machine, but that just isn't good for the plot!

GIR sat next to him on the couch, once in a while looking at him, smiling, and then going back to the TV with whatever food product he was holding.

After a few more minutes of unbearable silence and boredom, the doorbell rang. Overly excited for something to do, Zim jumped at the door as if it was going to get away, throwing it open to see Dib in a tight black shirt, staring down at him. If Zim allowed it, his jaw would've dropped.

The two stood still for a while, just staring at each other before Dib cleared his throat. "Deb told me to use the shower here."

"Uh-huh." The alien made no indication of moving.

Dib looked at him expectantly before speaking again. "So, can you let me by?"

Without thinking, Zim moved out of the way allowing Dib inside and shut the door. It wasn't until then that he snapped out of his stupor. "Wait! What's wrong with the shower at your house?"

"Deb's mother is home and she doesn't know about me yet!"

"Your just gonna use this as an excuse to spray me with your evil liquid!" (A.N. oh God! I just realized how wrong that sounds XD)

"What… NO! I just want a shower."

"Not on my watch, stink beast!" with that Zim talked Dib to the ground, they both landed in front of GIR.

Now, GIR has seen this somewhere before. So in amazing GIR vision, we see this:

Position sexual- _will _result in no clothes and moaning

Action -run out of the room before master yells bad things.

So with that, GIR jumps off the couch and runs into the other room screaming. "YEEEAAAHH! Master get's it ON!"

With that being said, Zim realized the position they were in and quickly scrambled off Dib, blushing. "Go take your shower, human." His voice was oddly soft.

Dib took the opportunity and picked up his clothing before walking into the other room, in search of a shower.

* * *

Tapan: hehehe, I like GIR in this chapter! He's just so cute! R&R, the more comments I get, the quicker I get thechapter done! oh and did anyone catch the reference to Rocko's modern life? it's very suble! okay, enough of my babble it's your turn! 


	3. he's everthing inside of you

Tapan: my neck hurts and so does my left hand/pouts/

Torna: awww, poor baby, maybe you should take a nap and let mommy kiss it better…

Tapan/cute eyes/ gee Torna. Ya mean that?

Torna: of course not! Now quit complaining and do the fic!

Tapan: slave driver…/pain forgotten momentarily/ any way, here's chaptie three of my action packed, slasherific, Zim story. AW YEAH!

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim and if I did, the show wouldn't be the way it is today. Therefore it would've sucked and stopped playing after the fifth episode, just like the butt ugly Martians! (How long was that on for anyway?)

Warning: slash! And you know what, if you wanna flame it for that reason, go right ahead! Yes I care for my fics; I just really like a good laugh.

* * *

After an hour's search through the house, Dib finally found a very human-looking bathroom. In it was a giant tub and shower, which he found weird. What made it even weirder was the half empty bottle of coconut scented shampoo and the used bar of soap.

Trying not to think about it too hard, Dib stripped, turned the shower on and got in. as he let the water run down his thin form, his thoughts wandered to past events. This new dimension was almost exactly like his own, but Deb and Tam acted so different in comparison to him and Zim.

/speaking of Zim, what was with the little fight downstairs/ He thought back to GIR's reaction to their situation. Granted, the little robot was insane, but he did see the position as some other activity and ran out of the room as if he'd experienced it before. /I guess it did look wrong. And Zim was very quick to jump away…/ before he could stop himself, Dib's inner pervert took over. /I wonder what that would be like. /

After a moment of perverted teenage thought, Dib felt a … certain area grow.

"Oh SHIT!" As if someone was watching, he covered himself, blushing. "NO! BAD!" in order to get out of his. Ahem. Current state, he resorted to drastic measures. /Mrs. Bitters naked, Mrs. Bitters naked, Mrs. Bitters naked…/ after that thought, Dib found not only was he no longer aroused, he was also a little queasy.

Sighing, Dib looked up into the water, the drops working their way through his black hair. "This isn't happening…"

((Tam's Base: Living Room))

"You wanna watch this?" click. "How 'bout this?" click. "Or this?" click. "This?" click. "This?" click. "This?" click. Click. "This?"

"Just pick a channel, GIR!" a rubber pig flew and hit GIR on the side of his head. The little robot just fell over without trying to stop himself in any way.

Zim stared at GIR for a second before sighing angrily and sitting back in the couch. The TV was now on an old black and white movie, but the alien didn't feel like getting up.

Yawning a little, he pulled his legs into his chest and tried to make the best of it. Bored, lavender eyes watched the movie, slowly glazing over and before long; Zim had his head on the armrest. He kept his position until he heard Dib walking down into the living room. As he heard the heavy footsteps, his head shot up, causing the wig to fall off to the side of the couch.

Dib walked into the living room, cleaning his glasses with the bottom of his shirt. Satisfied, he put them back on and looked over at Zim. His scythe like lock was pressed down from the water, causing it to limp at the end.

Zim looked at him, blinked, and then looked back to the TV, pointing at GIR. "He has the remote."

"Uuh, okay. And what do you want me to do about it?"

"Get it from him!" if the boy didn't know better, Zim sounded like he was whining. Sighing, he walked over to the robot and took the controller from his little hands and threw it to Zim. The alien caught it, smiled then changed the channel.

For a moment, Dib felt out of place. He didn't really want to leave, but at the same time wanted as much distance between himself and the irken as physically possible.

/but going back to Deb's means sitting in her room in order to avoid her mother. / Dib sighed and slowly walked over to the couch, sitting down on the other side. Zim looked over at him and glared. After contemplating, his eyes softened and her turned back to the TV.

((Skool))

Lunchtime! Tam and Deb sat at an old abandoned table. Deb had her head down, taking a nap before they had to go back to their classes. Tam sucked on a straw absentmindedly, watching the more crowded tables. One in particular, all the boy were surrounding a redhead girl. She giggled and flirted with each one of them.

"You know, I really don't like that Smacky girl. She annoys me."

"Tonya? She's the one you took the lungs from in the fifth grade."

"Well, I should've kept them, and hope she died." Tam adjusted her wig slightly, the long black hair waving at her shoulders.

"Uh-huh." Deb adjusted her arms for more support.

The table was silent for a second, before Tam realized something. "Hey, if I took the lungs from Smacky, then what did I take from you?"

Deb looked up, confused. "You know. I really don't know."

Blinking, they thought about it for a moment. Giving in, the paranormal investigator put her head back down. "Well, you should know. You're the one that took it."

"Hmmm."

The bell rang and everyone started to flood out of the cafeteria. Deb pulled her head up and sighed. Tam just stood up and went for the door.

Before someone tripped her.

Quickly, she brought her hands out to break her fall as she heard the kids laughing behind her.

"Leave her alone, damn it!" she heard Deb stand up and turned in time to see her girlfriend push Tonya back.

Tonya growled and spat a few hateful comments under her breath before walking away. Deb glared at her back as she walked away with her crowd.

Tam stood, brushing herself off and adjusting her wig slightly. "I can take care of myself, Deb-stink. I don't need your protection!"

Deb smiled. "Sometimes I think you do."

Tam just stared at Deb for a second, before ADD set in. "what are we going to do with Dib and Zim."

The human sighed. "That's a good question." she paused. "But for now, we have to go to class. After school?"

Tam snickered. "My house."

((Tam's Base))

"But sir! The aliens are going to destroy us all!"

"I don't care Johnson! Make my muffins now!"

"You're insane, why are you even the president!"

"What stupid movie is this?" Dib looked up from the said movie to see Zim shrug. Sighing, he sat back once again as GIR crawled up to sit in between them. Yawning, the dysfunctional robot crawled onto the humans lap and fell sleep in a tight little ball.

Dib cocked an eyebrow down at GIR and looked over at Zim to see his reaction is the same. They met each other's eyes, blinked, and then looked back at the TV.

"I'm bored."

"Yup."

"Entertain me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I have a robot on my lap. Plus I don't want to."

"Stupid human! You have yet to learn your place?"

Dib snickered.

"What?"

"Nope. Nothing." Dib's face started to heat slightly.

Zim looked worried before covering it with aggravation. "Are you feeling sick, human? Because if you are I suggest you leave before you spread it around the base."

"No, I'm fine. Why would you ask that?"

Zim leaned over and tapped his cheek slightly. "Your skin changed colors."

Dib's eyes widened slightly. "It's nothing, ignore it."

Sighing, the invader moved back to his spot, much to Dib's relief and slight disappointment.

/no! Not disappointment! More like…like. / His thoughts paused as he noticed Zim studying him, antennas twitching slightly. His lavender eyes traced Dib's body before glazing over.

Dib moved over slightly.

And then the door to the base opened, Tam and Deb stepping in and then closing the door.

Sighing, Tam smiled. "Hello, boys. How are you on this lovely day?"

They both groaned in response.

"Oh thank god. Me too." Deb leaned up against the door.

Tam blinked. "Well, I figure you two should go out and get some fresh air."

Dib looked over at Tam. "What are you, our mom?"

"No, just looking out for you. In fact." She took a leash from some unknown place. "Take GIR with you."

Hearing this, GIR sat up, squealing happily before hopping off of Dib's lap and putting on his puppy suit.

Sighing, the male counterparts got up. Zim glared as he put on his wig, took the leash from Tam and hooked it to GIR's collar. Opening the door, GIR dragged Zim outside, leaving Dib to follow behind and close the door.

"Was there a reason for that?" Deb gave Tam an odd look.

Tam smirked. "I believe someone's in need of 'special' attention." With that, the alien jumped at the girl.

((Somewhere In The Neighborhood))

"I'm getting a taco-oooo. You want me a taco-ooo!" GIR sang and danced, dragging Zim in his wake.

"Hey, Zim. Don't you find it a little weird that we both needed to walk GIR?"

"NO GIR STOP! AAAAH!" crash!

"Awww, Zimmy fall down and go boom."

Dib followed behind again, defeated. "Never mind."

A minute and a few crashes later, the boys are back at the door.

"I'm just telling you, it seems suspicious!"

"You always say that!"

"And I'm usually right too!"

Zim rolled his eyes as he turned the doorknob. "Stop worrying, earth boy. I assure you nothing is-" Zim's eyes widened as he looked inside the house.

"What? What is it?" Dib's gaze followed Zim's. "…Oh my!"

The position the two girls were in was… interesting. Deb was no longer wearing her trench coat and her shirt was halfway up due to Tam's hand inside it. The human's hand was in the invader's pants, where Tam's legs were spread open. Tam sat on the couch, her ankles locked around Deb's waist, securing her in place. Deb's face was next to Tam's neck, paused in mid bite.

The four just stood there, staring in disbelief. GIR on the other hand, ran into the kitchen screaming. "SEX IS GOOD FOR MASTAH!"

Slowly, Zim closed the door, and for a moment the two boys just stood on the doorstep.

"Were they just-?" Zim found he couldn't finish the sentence.

"Yeah."

"And getting ready to-?"

"Oh yeah."

The alien paused, staring at Dib. "Okay, fine! You were right." He paused. "Pizza?"

"Yeah sure." They walked away from the door way and too Bloaty's.

((Bloaty's))

"You're not eating, human. Why?"

Dib sighed. "Well I just caught my female counterpart getting it on with yours, and you could say it's bringing a few questions to mind."

"Ooh, do tell."

Dib hesitated at Zim's exited behavior, but continued just the same. "Well, let's just say I never saw myself with another guy, much less you." He tried to ignore Zim's hurt expression and passed it off as his eyes playing tricks on him. "And with this being a dimension with almost everything exactly the same, wouldn't that mean that. Well, you know. You and I would-?"

Zim nodded, poking a piece of pizza as if it would move. "And you don't want to become that, is that right?"

Dib nodded.

Sighing, Zim looked up from the food. "Maybe it's the same here, maybe it isn't. I believe it might be best for you to just see what happens and not worry about what your ultimate fate will be."

Dib stare at Zim in disbelief. "Zim, that was the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say. "He leaned forward. "Are you feeling okay?"

Zim threw a pizza slice in his face. "I feel fine!"

Dib chuckled and wiped away the grease on his face.

" You missed a spot." Zim pointed to his cheek. Dib brought his hand up to wipe it away, only to the wrong cheek. "Wait, I got it." Taking a napkin, he wiped the small bit of sauce off the human's face gently. "What would you do without me?" Zim's eyes locked into Dib's, then the alien realized what he was doing and pulled away, blushing slightly.

"Zim? Are you—blushing?"

"No, of course not!"

"But your cheeks are turning--"

"That's my natural skin color, it's completely natural!"

"No it isn't."

"How would you know! You know nothing of me!" Zim stood up and walked out, leaving Dib with the food and check.

* * *

Tapan: my favorite part of this chapter is Dib saying "oh my." I love it to death! The next chapter, hopefully, will have more moments with Dib and Zim and…. fun stuff /smiles in an evilly perverted way/ Mwahahahahaha! R&R! 


	4. that you wish you could be

Tapan: I'm on Passover vacation, people! And I just finished this lovely fic!

Torna: don't you have a life?

Tapan/fists on hips, proudly/ No! No I don't! This is my life, baby!

Torna: I see…. Never call me "baby" again.

Tapan: ok…sweetie. /giggles/

Torna/growls, blushing slightly. /

Declaimer: I don't own it, so don't ask. And I really don't feel like writing a long disclaimer. (Even though I just did.)

Warning: slash! And once again, if anyone wants to flame, be my guest. Operators are standing by. /Torna watching the reviewers with a shotgun. / TORNA! Put the gun down!

* * *

"I don't get what you're asking, Dib." Deb looked up from her computer where she was previously typing like there's no tomorrow. "What exactly do you mean by 'been together'?"

Dib rubbed his arm as the girl stared at him blankly. "Well, you know--"

"Intimate?"

"I guess, yeah. Wait! No! Just together!"

"Oooh." She paused and looked back at her screen. "I'm still not getting it. You mean, not enemies?"

Dib sighed in relief, suddenly feeling like he was playing charades with a toddler. "Yes, that one."

Deb hesitated before leaning back in her chair, thinking. "I guess we stopped fighting around the seventh grade. Tam decided to call a truce for god knows what reason. Maybe she was banished here or something.

"Anyway, we were both very awkward at the idea, at first. You know, I still wanted to expose her, and she still wanted to take over the world. But after a while, it seemed like the mission just fell out of place.

"One day, I was walking home from school, Gim was still with me at the time. Then suddenly, she just attacked me from behind. Still not fully trusting her, I had a small water pistol in my pocket and I pulled it out and shot her in between the eyes." Deb pointed to where she shot her. "She screamed, then past out. I didn't think she'd get knocked out, but maybe I hit a weak spot.

"I ended up bringing her home with me, she took my bed until she woke up. When she did, I realized there was something different about her. For example, at a mere contact between us, she'd pull away extremely quickly."

Dib remembered to when Zim wiped the bit of sauce off his cheek.

Deb noticed Dib's zoned look, but continued just the same. "Somehow that night, we ended up exposing hiding feeling. I myself was in denial about it for a long time."

Dib's eyes widened as he tuned in to what his counterpart said. Hesitant, he cleared his throat a little before speaking again. "And, exactly, how close are you two?"

The girl sighed slightly, and forced herself not to look at her twin. "We're partners?"

" 'Partners'?" it suddenly dawned on him. "As in married? But you're too young for that!"

"In the irken sense, Dib. Not human." Her typing came at a fast pace and, for a second, Dib believed she was typing gibberish. "Irken Marriage, if you can call it that, is nothing like human. Once the couple gets." Deb coughed slightly. "Intimate, the irkens produces a chemical that coats over their mate. No soap in the universe can wash that off. It also burns, leaving a permanent mark on the body." Deb lifted her shirt to show Dib the marking.

"So you're hers, but what about you?"

"I used water. Less affective, but It did the job. After that it's like having sex with a human." (A/N: for those of you who are bored, don't worry. The sex and stuff will be coming up. This is just developing)

"But doesn't this interfere with-"

"Anything? No not at all. In the irken culture, the idea of same sex mating is not unusual in the least bit. Just look at the Tallests! You see, in the irken society, they have a new way to procreate so it's not so essential to have a male-female relationship. Almost makes you wish the human race was the same way."

Dib sighed and stared at the floor. "So are you really…"

"Gay?" Deb cocked an eyebrow. "Yes. Yes I am. And unless something truly miraculous happened in your dimension, so are you and Zim." /way to be blunt, Deb/

Dib sucked in a deep breath. "I… didn't mean anything by it."

"I know. But Dib." She patted the boy on the top of the head as if he was her son. "Get out of the closet, it's a very uncomfortable place. I know, I've been there." With that, Deb turned back to her work.

((Tam's base: Lab))

Zzz.zzzz.. Zzzz…ZAPP!

"OW! SHIT!" Tam cradled her right hand in her left, cursing in English, Irken and a language she just made up for the occasion.

"I bet that hurt." Zim snickered in his corner and went back to whatever he was working on.

"No one asked you!" Tam threw a small chunk of metal at the male irken, but missed slightly. Zim just hummed to himself and continued with his new toy.

Curious now, Tam walked over quietly and looked over Zim's shoulder, earning herself a glare and a push.

"What are you doing?" Tam cocked an "eyebrow."

"Nothing of importance to you, but I WILL TELL YOU ANYWAY!" Zim picked up the little device, which currently were more wires than anything else. "It is a lie detector thingy. Much more advanced than the human version, but with the same concept." With steady fingers, the irken attached a few wires and smiled when he heard the contraption beep, signaling it's alive. "Now, Tam. Tell me the nature of you relationship with the Deb."

Tam brought her arms behind her back and closed her eyes in that "I'm all mighty" style. "There's nothing between us, Zim."

The bundle of wires beeped and a little red light started to flash. Tam blinked down at it.

Zim smirked. "And the machine works!"

Tam's eyes widened at the idea of Zim pulling one over on her. Well, if he wanted to play, she would teach him the rules.

Snatching the device away from Zim, she smirked back. "And I assume this means you feel nothing for the Dib? After all, you two did seem awfully close on my couch."

Zim then spoke without thinking of the small device. "That's a sickening thought! I'd never DREAM of doing anything with my enemy, such as you have!"

The little light flashed once again. Tam made an 'ah' face as Zim stared blankly, realizing he's been tricked.

"The machine must be broken!" he pulled it away.

"It works fine and you know it." Tam crossed her arms.

Zim growled and continued his work.

"Awww are you upset that I know your secret?" Tam taunted the invader, poking him in the head. "After all, If Deb and I are mates, why not you and Dib?"

"Mates?"

Tam smiled. "Yes, Zim. We are bound together for all eternity. Didn't you see the burn mark on the child's stomach?"

Zim looked up, eyes impossible wide.

"Hm, I didn't think so." She turned and walked back to her work, before coming up with another idea.

((Membrane house))

The phone rang, Deb didn't flinch. It was usually someone for her mother, and she always got to it before anyone else could.

She looked over at Dib. He lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, contemplating. He's been that way since their discussion. The two haven't spoken a word to each other, only babbling out loud to themselves every one in a while.

"Daughter! Your foreign friend is on the phone!" the girl snapped her head in the direction of the door. Her mother knocked on it lightly. "Can I come in?"

"Uh! Just a minute, Mom." quickly, she pulled the covers over dib. The boy gasped in surprise, but otherwise stayed silent. "Okay you can come in now."

The scientist opened the door and stepped into her daughter's room. "Here you go! You'll have to hurry though. I left, Johnson with some very unstable chemicals and I need the phone line open."

Deb brought the phone to her ear, slightly nervous when her mother didn't leave, but walked around the room. "Hello?"

"Deb, I have a brilliant idea! What if we bring Dib over here tomorrow as we go to school? That way, you don't have to worry about your mother."

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Okay, that's all for now. I'll see you tomorrow." Deb's eyes widened when the older woman walked over to her bed, poking at the lump that was Dib, curious.

Dib moved slightly. She poked him again. He moved again.

Now on guard, she pulled off the covers.

"No! Mom!" Deb hung up the phone and stood up. Too little too late.

Dib smiled nervously at the Professor. "Uh, hi!"

Dib was amazed at how much the woman looked like his father. They both wore the same lab coat, which covered her nose and mouth. Her goggles were a shade lightly than her male counterpart's, but still showed no sign of eyes. She had more hair, but still black, and still with the odd scythe perched on the top. Her chest was a little bigger, but not by much.

"Deb?" she looked up at her daughter. They also have the same intense way of speaking, Dib noted. "Why is there this boy lying in your bed?"

"Okay, mom, it's not what you think. Him and Tam's male counterpart fell from the sky from another dimension. We're trying to get them back there, with no luck so far." Deb shut her eyes tightly, wondering what would happen next. Her mother laughing, going to the crazy house for girls (again!) Dib and Zim being taken away for experiments.

"Oh, is that all?" Deb opened her eyes and looked up at her mother. "I've heard of this happening before. It's a clash within the two dimensions. You have a limited amount of time to get the boys back, or they'll be stuck here, forever."

Membrane took the phone away form her daughter and began to walk out. "You are allowed to use any equipment in my lab for this, as long as you don't do anything dangerous." She turned back. "I would help you, but I have to solve world hunger at seven, followed by an autograph session. Good luck, you two."

With that, Membrane walked out of the room. When she knew she was out of hearing range, the professor pulled up her sleeve. "Membrane, are you there?"

The screen blinked before her male counterpart appeared on the screen. "Oh, hello! It's been a while!"

"Yes it has, two months tomorrow. I just want tot tell you, your son is here with my daughter, along with the green fellow. I'll give them a few days to see if they can figure it out, before helping them."

"Oh, ok. Just make sure they don't get stuck there. That would be TERRIBLE!" the male counterpart looked worried for a moment.

"Not to worry. We've done this before, they'll be fine. I'll call back tomorrow."

"Alrighty! Good-bye!" the two disconnected. Membrane looked down the hall as Gim stared at her.

"Something you aren't telling us, mom?"

She sighed. "Just don't tell your sister, she will need to figure this out on her own."

Gim growled. "Fine." With that, he walked into his room and shut the door.

((Next morning: Tam's house))

"Ok, one more time. Why can't I stay over at your house and work on the device with your mother?" Dib followed behind Deb on their way to the alien base on the other side of the neighborhood.

Deb turned around. "Because then you wouldn't be working on it with Zim. He made it before, he knows what to do."

"He knows what to—are we talking about the same Zim? The idiot that got himself stuck here along with his enemy?"

"Still, it'll be easier to keep you two together. And before you say 'why can't he go to your house' it's because all the technology he would've used is in Tam's base." Deb walked up the pathway and opened the door.

As soon as the door opened, GIR flew out, screaming as he crashed into the girl, causing her to fall back.

"DEBBY! Master and Zimmy are fighting, and master isn't ready for school and she didn't do her homework last night, so teacher man's gonna call robo mom and say 'your daughter's failing' and then she'll say 'no, not until you wash your hands' and it'll become all bad!" the panicked look quickly changed to a happy one. "I made you some panycakes!" he then proceeded to hop off Deb and skip into the house, leaving the two humans to follow.

As soon as they were all in the house and the door was closed, Zim and Tam fell through a giant hole in the ceiling, wrestling angrily.

Zim pulled on Tam's antennae. "How is it that my female half is such an imbecile!"

Tam grabbed Zim's eyelid and pulled, exposing the red eye laying behind. "Like you one to talk, you little—Deb!" Tam quickly got off of Zim as he let go of her antennae. "What are you doing here this late?"

"Late? Tam, we have school in ten minutes!"

"Oh, really? It's morning."

Deb shook her head before looking up. "Computer, how long have they been arguing like this?"

"8 hours, 27 minutes and 13 seconds." The deep voice boomed. After a second it snickered slightly. "You want to see how it started, that was pretty funny."

"Maybe later, right now, we have to go." Deb grabbed Tam's wig, which was thrown unceremonially on the couch, her contacts on the floor. She picked them up and handed them to Tam, who quickly put them in and followed Deb to the door.

Tam turned to the boys. "You two are going to work on the Dimension Transmitting Device. We'll come help you right after school. GIR!" the little robot jumped and landed in front of his master, saluting. "I have a special assignment for you." Tam took GIR out of the room and whispered something to the robot, so the other three couldn't hear her plan. GIR nodded happily, little bolts shaking in his head as he moved.

Tam stridden out of the room, GIR following until she opened the door and pushed Deb out. Looking back in, she bit back a smile, succeeding in transforming it into a smirk and stepped out the door, leaving the three alone.

"Well!" Zim stood up, brushing himself off, before looking at Dib. "We might as well get to work!"

((Tam's Lab))

The two boys worked quietly in the lab, backs to each other. GIR watched the two in his spot on the floor, a stuffed moose in his arms.

Looking over, he saw a pile of blue goo next to Zim. Thinking of what master said, he walked over to the goo, picked up a handful. And threw it at the back of Dib's head, before running back to his spot.

Dib felt the substance hit him and roll down the back of his neck. Turning quickly, he saw the goo next to Zim and growled. "Very mature, space boy!"

Zim turned, confused. "Wha?"

Dib scrapped some goop off the back of his head and threw it at Zim, hitting him between the eyes. Zim looked surprised as Dib smirked.

Casually, Zim took some of the blue gel into his hand, and threw it at Dib.

And so, the Great War began.

Angry shouts and insult turned into laughter and teasing. Without realizing it, the boys drifted closer to each other, until any goop they threw would just end up splattering against the other. Breathing in for a moment, Dib found his lips pressed against Zim's.

Without realizing it, his eyes slid closed and the gel in his hand was dropped in favor of the irken. Zim's reaction was very similar, if a little more eager, pulling the boy closer, making the kiss harder.

After a little while, both boys pulled away and stared at each other for a minute. Then, Dib fainted.

* * *

Tapan: Yay! They kissed. The last part was taken from Just Shoot Me. I thought it was cute, so I added it! Ok, review! I love reviews, they make me feel special! 


	5. he says all the right things

Tapan/head bobs to whatever music is coming out of the headphones. /singing/ The wilted flowers that I gave, not as nice as you bouquet..

Torna/sighs/ it turns out Tapangowa is in her own little world at the moment, I guess that leaves me to make the beginning.

Tapan/sways slightly, in some form of dance./still singing/ …Starlight above my hometown, ain't as bright as the star I found…

Torna: yeah, yeah. I know..

Tap/Tor/singing/ Every drawing that I do, is never ever as cute as you.

Torna: 99. This is probably my personal favorite chapter, so far…. don't tell tweetle-dee though.

Tapan/still completely clueless. /

Disclaimer: I/ we don't own Invader Zim. Just this plot line, isn't it beautiful?

Warning: SLASH! I would rather you not flame, but the writer herself is welcoming them, so, yeah.

* * *

"Dib? Dib!" a slap across the face. "Dib!" another slap. "Wake up, stink-beast!" one last slap. 

Dib woke up to find Zim straddling him, holding him by the shirtfront, and winding up to hit him again. A little startled, the human sat up, causing Zim to lose his balance and fall to his lap.

Dib blushed slightly as Zim stared down at the boy's pants, confused at the hardened area that lay behind. He went to poke at it until Dib pushed him off and laid in a fetal position, trying to get control of his own body.

Zim just stared at him.

When Dib felt he had enough power over himself, he spoke. "Uh. W-we should get back to work." Dib went to get up, until Zim pushed him back down.

Zim smiled at the human. "We have plenty of time." He dipped his head down and claimed the boy's lips again.

Lightly, Dib put his hand on Zim's chest and pushed him off. Sitting up, their eyes met, disappointed red to apologetic brown.

That's when they both heard the sound of pompoms.

Both snapped their heads in the direction of the noise to see GIR posing in a little cheerleader outfit, shaking the small red and black pompoms.

"GIR! Take those clothes off!" Zim glared as Dib just laughed at the little dysfunctional robot.

GIR looked sadly at Zim. "But master said to help you guys. And Piggy told me I look pretty in this." GIR's eyes stared to tear. "Did Piggy lie to me? Am I no pretty, Zim?"

Zim opened his mouth to speak, but Dib beat him to it. "You look fine. But it seems that the outfit is freaking him out a little."

GIR smiled at the large headed boy. "Thanky, Dibby! You is the best!" with that, he skipped away, singing about mean bi products.

Zim's glare shifted to Dib. "Why did you encourage him?"

Dib sighed and stood up. "Because I don't want him running around, crying about how you didn't like his dress. We wouldn't get any work done."

((Skool)))

"What did you say to GIR?"

"I don't need to tell you. He's my robot servant, not yours."

"He listens to me more often than you."

"That's beside the point."

"No it isn't. GIR's as much mine as.."

"TAM, DEB! I WILL NOT TELL YOU AGAIN! BE QUIET OR LEAVE!"

Slowly, Tam stood up. "Oh, we have that choice? Okay." She went to the door, only to find the teacher blocking it.

He glared at her. "Sit down, Tam."

The irken crossed her arms. "You gave me an alternative option. I'm just going with the one most suitable to my needs." Tam's hand fell to her side, her fingers snapped. "Deb, come."

"Excuse me?" Deb stood up, but didn't move toward Tam

"You heard me. We have a special rendezvous, and we can't afford to be late."

The whole class was now full of hushed whispers and snickering. Everyone knew of Tam and Deb's fights in elementary school, and their relationship now.

The teacher rolled his eyes at Tam. "You're not leaving, so stop trying."

"You do realize by trying to keep us from leaving, you're neglecting the rest of your class."

"I don't care, they'll just do it all for homework."

Tam nodded, understanding and ignoring the groans of the student body. "So, in order to leave, I either need special permission or do something wrong?"

"Right."

"And I would assume it would be the same for Deb."

"You assume correctly."

The alien nodded again and walked back to where Deb stood. Without warning, she grabbed the taller girl by the neck and pulled her into a hard kiss.

Not expecting it, Deb backed up into the desk behind her, which Tam worked to her advantage. Keeping their lips in contact, Tam pushed Deb to where she was half laying on the desk, and almost on the guy occupying it.

The teacher watched the two, eyes wide. When he saw the invader's hand wandering south and heard the paranormalist moan, he cleared his throat. "Fine! Tam, Deb, get out of my class!"

Tam stood up straight, dragging Deb with her. She smirked and headed toward the door, hand still on Deb.

Once out of the class and down the hall, Tam snorted. "Such an insolent little monster, he was."

Deb nodded. "You were lying about that rendezvous thing, weren't you?"

Tam chuckled. "Yes, human. I lied. But you really can't blame me, that man was boring and just seemed to yell a whole lot."

Deb smiled and shook her head a little. "So what are we going to do now?"

Tam's laughed. "Well, the teacher droid interrupted me in my fit of passion. Even though that was my escape plan, I now wish to continue."

Deb rolled her eyes and stepped outside. "I say we wait until-" Deb felt a drop of water land on her head. "It's raining."

Tam became pale. "Raining!" she backed up as it started to pour faster.

"No paste?"

The alien shook her head. "I forgot. Zim was fighting with me and we were late and I just didn't have the time and--"

"Tam! You're babbling." The human walked back into the building, not yet soaked, but not dry. Sighing, she slipped off her coat and put it around Tam, the collar over her head. "There, see? No need to worry." she then again walked out into the rain, paused and turned around. By this time, the rain was hard.

Hesitant, Tam followed Deb. Deb smiled as the alien walked up next to her. "Do you realize how adorable you look right now?"

"Shove it!"

Deb laughed as they started to walk.

((Tam's base))

Once again, the two boys stood with their backs to each other. The difference this time was once in a while, one would glance over his shoulder at the other.

After another stolen glance, Zim sighed and continued his research, when he saw his lie detector right next to him.

Picking it up, he turned it on. "So, Dib- stink, how long do you believe this'll take?"

"Not long, hopefully." A monotone voice responded.

"And I assume you want to get back to our dimension as soon as possible."

"I really can't wait to get back." The lie detector stayed silent.

Zim bit back a sigh. "And what of us? Do you believe we'll be like the women?"

Dib paused. "I don't think so, I really don't like you that much." This is where the lie detector went off. Dib's head snapped around. "What was that?"

Zim smiled. "You lie." He chuckled. "You lie, you lie." His chuckle turned into a maniac's laugh. "You lie, you lie, you LIE." He turned around and looked at Dib. "You're lying, Dib-human."

Dib hesitated before cocking an eyebrow. "So it seems." Dib turned back to his work.

Zim growled and walked up to him. When the human didn't face him, he took him by the shoulder and pulled, successfully turning Dib.

Smirking, Zim kissed Dib, this time pushing his tongue pass the boy's lips. With a little coaxing, Dib soon joined in, the kiss slowly becoming heated. The boy went to put his hand on the back of the irken's head, but quickly pulled away as he realized it burned. He broke the kiss at the slight sting.

Zim sighed, frustrated. "Must you be so difficult?"

"You burnt me!"

"No on purpose!"

"That doesn't stop it from hurting!"

"Well, you might as well get use to it! You know it will happen again!"

Dib's eyes widened as he stared at Zim, still nursing his hand.

Zim rolled his eyes. "Fine human. If you claim it hurts so much, let me see." The alien walked up to Dib, taking the human's hand into his own. Looking at his palm, he saw the flesh eaten away slightly.

Zim's pack opened and a long metal piece popped out, dropping a powder like substance in his hand. The burn froze and the powder disappeared instantly. "There, done. Are you happy now?" Zim walked away, mumbling.

Dib sighed slightly, almost able to hear Deb voice telling him to grow some guts.

Then, the elevator opened. Speak of the devil.

"Hello, we're back early." Tam dropped Deb's wet coat to the floor, where a metal hand came from the ceiling and picked up.

Deb drained her hair out a little. "What you guys get done?"

Dib looked up. "Next to nothing."

Zim nodded in agreement. "The human has been quite the distraction."

"Yes, yes. I'm sure he has." Tam waved it off slightly, typing onto a side computer quickly.

Within seconds, she was monitoring the security cameras. /now, GIR, did you do your job/ Watching for a few minutes, she smiled. "Deb, I would like to show you what I did with GIR."

Deb walked up behind Tam and looked over at the monitor. After seeing the boys on it, kissing, she smiled. "Ah I see now."

They both looked over at the boys and snickered.

((Membrane house))

Hours later, the two humans walked in to the house. Gim snorted at the door, that being his version of 'hello.' Without pausing, Deb headed up to her room, Dib followed.

Once inside the room, Deb closed the door and glanced at Dib. "So, why exactly did you two get hardly any work done?"

Dib shrugged. "I don't know."

Deb nodded and sat in her computer chair as Dib lay on her bed. After a little bit of thinking, Deb turned back to her other. "Could you hand me the Crop circles Magazine right next to you."

Without hesitation, Dib picked up the magazine and reached toward Deb. Almost instantly, Deb's hand wrapped around Dib's wrist, taking the magazine out and flipping it over. "That's quite the burn." She looked up, forcing herself to look innocent. "Where'd you get it from?"

Dib pulled his hand away quickly. "The stove."

Deb smirked. "This 'stove' wouldn't happen to be named 'Zim' would it?"

Dib hesitated, soon realizing he has no need to. "Yes."

The girl nodded. "Good. I'm glad you're done playing the idiot in denial."

"The idiot in denial?"

Deb pointed at him. "Exactly." She turned back to the computer, signing on to the Swollen eyeballs website. Scrolling thought the pages; she found no information that could be used.

((Tam's base))

"Hard day?"

"Yes."

"I'm sure." Tam turned her back to Zim, spider legs extracting from her pack. "After all, shoving your tongue down a human's throat could tire anyone out." She heightened herself slightly in order to reach a small jar. She heard a small crash behind her.

"How--?"

"This base is littered with camera's, Zim, my boy." She smirked and used the spider legs to crawl over. "It is my base, after all. There is nothing I don't see." Just then, GIR ran under her, screamed, kicked one of the metal legs, and ran out, crying for his moose.

Sighing, Tam lowered herself, bringing the legs back into her pack. "And now all you need is a little." She smiled widely. "Mating time."

Zim's eyes widened. "Wait? What?"

Tam ignored Zim's stuttering. "The Deb and I will stay out a little longer tomorrow. We will give you plenty of time to seduce the Dib." Her eyes narrowed. "Although, you will not need too much time. He should give himself to you easily."

"I'm not too sure this will work. The Dib is--"

"Whatever you say, it matters not. Dib WILL be your mate tomorrow, as you wish it to happen. Yes?"

Zim just stared at her.

"I'll take that as an understanding." Tam turned and walked back to her computer.

((Next day: still Tam's base))

The two humans walked in the house and instantly caught the smell of bacon. As expected, Gir came bouncing out, a smile on his metal face. "I made breakyfast for Dibby." He took Dib's hand and dragged him into the kitchen. "Dibby will need plenty of energy. Master saids so!" he directed Dib to a seat, and then turned his attention to Deb. "Does lil Debby want some edibles?"

Deb leaned against the doorway, smiling. "No thanks, GIR. I already ate."

Smiling back, he took a plate off the counter and placed it in front of Dib. "Eat 'em! They're tasty!" the little robot turned to Deb again. "oooh yeeeeeaaah. Master told me to tell you she would be down in her lab, and up a lil later than usual." GIR paused for a second, then screamed happily. "I MEMBERED! I IS A GOOD BOY!"

The two smiled at the robot. Dib took a bite of the waffle, causing GIR to smile more.

The three stayed silent for a moment. Deb played with a piece of paint peeling off the wall, GIR danced around for a moment, and Dib ate his breakfast, off in his own world.

Breaking the silence, Tam and Zim walked out of the trash can, with their disguises on.

Tam brushed herself off slightly. "We should get going now, Deb."

Deb nodded, said goodbye, and followed Tam out of the house, leaving the three alone.

Zim sat at the table, across from Dib, who continued with his waffles. When Zim sat down, GIR smiled widely, got into his puppy outfit and ran out of the house.

It was then that Dib realized something was up.

Pushing the food away, he got up. So did Zim.

The alien walked over to him, smirking. Lightly, he took off the boy's glasses and put them on the table.

He then proceeded to drag the boy over to the couch. Clothes lost on the way.

* * *

Torna: well, that's it for now. Hopefully, the actual writer will be back in this world by the next chapter and then i don't have to do these little notes. So, review! She writes better when she feels like the story's wanted. 


	6. at exactly the right time

Tapan: Next chapter! Yes! I am so tired, I donno why.

Torna: maybe you should, I don't know, SLEEP at night?

Tapan: what's the fun in that?

Torna:…….

Tapan: Anyways for those of you looking for the lemon, I'm sorry. You won't find it here. But I'll put it on AFFN and put the link in my bio, so look for it!

Torna: Yuh-huh.

Tapan: oh! And I have a request for anyone who likes to draw! (preferably from Deviant art, but I don't care either way) I want someone to draw Deb, Dib, Tam, Zim, Gim, and Gaz in one picture (it's mostly to see if my description matches the image in my head) please! I'll then do something for you!

Torna: you're pathetic.

Tapan: don'tcha know it!

Disclaimer: I no own Zim. I also don't own any other products that may appear in this story, so quit bugging me about it!

Warning: Slash! (ZADR and a little bit of RAPR, at least in this chapter) flame if you want, I'll be waiting for it!

* * *

Dib lifted his shirt, touching the burn on his front side gingerly. He hissed when he felt the pain, then pulled his hand away.

Then someone knocked on the bathroom door. "Dib, Come ON! You've been in there for an hour!" Gim's voice growled through the door. "What, did you fall in?"

"I'll be right out."

"You said that fifteen minutes ago."

Dib rolled his eyes and walked out, staring at the younger boy's glaring face with an apologetic smile. Without a word, he walked past the boy, allowing him access into the bathroom.

Walking into the room, he found Deb talking with Dark Bootie.

"We've searched for hours and have narrowed the dimension down to 2000 possibilities, along with our own. That one will be sent to you momentarily."

Deb smiled, clearly overwhelmed by the number. "Oh I see."

"Have you been working on the machine?"

She paused, thinking for a second. "We're slightly behind with it, but it will get done."

Dark Bootie seemed to smile. "I'm glad. Report back tomorrow, hopefully we'll have narrowed it down farther."

"Will do, sir." The screen once again went black. The girl turned in her chair to face her counterpart and sighed. "Well, so here we are." She stood up and walked over to her bed. Falling to her knees, she pulled out a small box and pulled it open.

Curious, Dib peaked over her shoulder to see a small camera (an exact replica of his) a miniature First Aid kit, and pictures.

Pictures unlike the ones he usually took.

His eyes widened at the sight, his face turning bright red as Deb takes the kit out and closes the box casually.

She opened it, taking out a roll of gauze and a small bottle of bactine. "Okay, Dibby-boy. Take off your shirt." When he hesitated, she smiled. "I know exactly what you and Zim did today. I also happen to know the burn hurts like a bitch if goes untreated, so shirt: off!"

He took it off quickly, his glasses almost falling with it. When Deb touched the damp cotton swab to his stomach, he hissed. "You know I can do it."

Deb smirked and continued her work. "You could, but it wouldn't be done properly. This way's much better." She threw the swab toward the garbage, but missed. Ignoring it, she wrapped up the burn tightly, patting his side when she was done.

He flinched.

She chuckled

((Tam's Lab))

"ZIM! STAY STILL, OR WE'LL NEVER GET IT DONE!"

"BUT IT HURTS! WHY CAN'T I JUST USE THE TANK!"

"BECAUSE GIR BROKE IT!"

"It over cooked my biscuits." The little robot simply watched his master wrestle with Zim, a red, paper like pad in her hand.

Growling, she jumped tackling him to the ground, keeping him down with a knee on his chest. Lifting his shirt, she pressed the pad to his skin, it hissed as Zim screamed out in pain, then attached to his skin, changing to the same green shade. After a moment, it was nearly impossible to tell there was a cover.

She sighed and stood up. "You're such a smeet."

Zim glared at her and stood up, holding his mid section lightly.

She put her hands on her hips. "You knew it was going to burn. And now I spent over an hour trying to stop the pain." She sat at the consol, turning to the panel, pressing a few buttons. "Now don't you feel silly?"

Behind her, she heard a quiet "no." he eye twitched, but she chose to ignore him.

"Dibby liked my waffles." GIR rocked back and forth happily. "he ated them good!"

"Yes, I know, GIR." The giant computer brought up a screen, scanning different planets in the galaxy.

"I made them special for him. I put in this stuff!" GIR's head opened and out popped a small zip lock bag.

Cocking an eye, Tam took the bag from the little robot. Looking inside, she found what seemed to be a crushed plant.

Standing up, she walked over to a small platform on the panel, and placed a small amount on it. "Computer: analyze."

"Analyzing…."

Zim, now curious and slightly concerned he walked over to the look over Tam's shoulder.

"Analyzing complete. Substance is Epimedium." The computer paused, as if seeing the confused look on the irkens' faces. "Better known as Horny Goat Weed."

Zim looked up "What does this 'horny goat weed' do?"

"Y-you're kidding, right?"

Tam's face was similar. "No, he is serious. Elaborate."

"Oh, God." The Computer cleared its throat. "Epimedium is an herb grown in Asia and is used to increase sexual desire in humans, especially males. It's also said to increase the pleasure for both parties, hence the reason it may be so popular."

"Ah, yes. That makes sense." Zim brought a hand to his chin, nodding understandingly.

Tam looked over at him. "Eh?"

He crossed his arms "The human was much better than he should've been, and I couldn't figure out why."

She brought a hand up, threatening to hit her male part. "That's not the point!" Tam sat on the floor. "You were supposed to seduce the Dib without the help of any drug."

"I don't remember agreeing to that."

She ignored him. "GIR, how could you?"

The demented robot stood from his spot on the floor, ran over and latched on to his master. "Awww, I is sorry, master. It's just the ice monkey guy told me it would be good for Dibby and I wanted to make Mr. Big Head and Zimmy happy." Tears built at the rim of his metal eyes. "Please forgive me, Master. Don't take me pony away!"

Tam's eyes softened at the little robot, but she kept he composure.

Before she could speak, the computer broke back into the conversation. "This drug doesn't take away a person's will. It simply adds to the experience."

"Eh?"

"Well." A small hologram of Dib came up on the panel. "When the human takes the drug, any mental activity will stay intact. The only difference is the desire. It almost acts as a microscope." A bulge appeared in the holograms pants.

Just then, the giant screen turns on, showing a somewhat annoyed Tallest Red. Behind her was a purple and green blur screaming, "not good! Not good!"

Tam turned Quickly, standing in front of the hologram, blushing. "TALLEST RED! I didn't expect your call."

The tallest growled, her usually tight robes slightly disheveled. "You called me, Tam. What is it?"

"Oh, right. I called to ask for information on dimensions and ways to transmit matter."

The tallest sighed and rubbed her head. "Can I get back to you on that one?"

"Oh, is this a bad time?"

"Gee, ya think?"

Tam smiled. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I'll call back later." Tam shut off the screen and looked over at Zim, who looked back with a gapping mouth. "What?"

"You spoke to the Tallests as if they were your equal."

Tam's eyes grew slightly sad. "I've been banished. They're no longer my leaders." The female irken turned off the hologram. "The only reason the connection to the massive is still attach was because the Tallest were bored with the true invaders."

"How do you know this?"

"They told me. And they were very blunt about it." Tam shrugged. "But, we're fine now. Of course, at first I didn't believe it, then it settled in, then I hated them, next they called back, then finally we became reacquainted as if I wasn't under their rule." Quickly, she turned back to the panel. "But the past is the past, everything's fine now."

Zim just watched as she went back to her work.

* * *

Tapan: eh, not a big fan of this chapter, but that's all right. The next one will be better. So review! And ANY ARTISTS, please think about it! 


	7. but he means nothing to you

Tapan: racing the clock! YAY!

Torna: wait, what?

Tapan: I want to get this chapter done before my daddy comes over to take me driving /in announcer voice/ can she do it? Is it possible?

Torna: not a chance.

Tapan: hmph! Anyways, someone's gonna draw them for me, YAYNESS!

Torna: you mean people actually read these?

Tapan: you bet! So there. And I thank Aqwidicate in advance for doing so. It means a lot. Next chapter, I'll do a complete list of thankies and stuff!

Disclaimer: nope I don't, you should know that by now you silly, silly people.

Warning: slash! Flame if you wish, I don't care.

* * *

Deb and Tam walked away from the house, both looking somewhat tired. Tam blinked slightly, her contacts seemed blurred. "You think they'll get any work done today?" 

Deb shrugged. "If they don't, we'll have to work on it all day tomorrow. Now won't that be fun?"

Tam sighed, kicking a rock across the sidewalk. "A weekend spent working."

Deb kicked the rock as soon as they go up to it. "Hey, if it needs to be done." She trailed off.

Tam looked up at her companion, glaring half-heartedly. "I don't want to."

The human glared back. "You have no choice."

They simply stood, staring each other down. It was times like these that Deb was thankful for her height advantage.

After a few minutes, Tam looked away and began walking to the school. "Fine."

Deb cheered inwardly for winning the tiny battle.

((Tam's Lab))

The two boys stood in a slightly awkward silence, with the sounds of machines working around them. At least, to Dib the silence was awkward.

To Zim, there wasn't any real silence.

"STAY DOWN, YOU UNHOLY WIRE! DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT YOU AGAIN!"

Dib looked over to see the alien wrestling with a long, thin blue wire. It was wrapped around his leg and met up near his neck, where it waved back and forth like a snake. Zim fought to get untangled, only succeeding in making it worse.

GIR sat by, clapping happily. "Give 'em the ol' one five, Johnny!"

Dib sighed and walked up to the irken. "Maybe you should just try staying still and untying it.

Zim turned around, the wire in his mouth, therefore muffling his words. "mmpher her bruffernd."

Even though he couldn't understand, the boy rolled his eyes and took the wire out of Zim's mouth and began untangling him.

Before he could stop himself, Dib started to imagine the things they could do with the wires.

/better yet a belt…. or a rope… okay STOP! BAD, DIB/ He watched Zim step out of the wire innocently.

Once completely untangle, he put his hands on his hips and smiled. "You see? No restraint came hold the mighty Zim!"

Dib turned away, snickering. "You sure about that?"

"Eh?"

GIR giggled. "Dibby's naughty!"

Zim still didn't get it.

((Skool: last period))

"And that, class, is the amount of money I make in a day. Any questions?"

"Is that a decimal or a comma?"

"That's a decimal."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

Tam put her head down on the desk. /so bored, head…. Ready…. To explode…. keeping from…. thinking in full…. sentences. / She looked next to her, saw the Smaky girl and sighed. This was the one class she didn't have with Deb, so instead she sat next to someone she couldn't stand.

Just then, a note hit her in the head. She opened it to see blue pen scribbled in letters.

Hi Tam! 

She sighed and wrote back on the paper. Keem, I told you so many times I've lost count. Leave…. me…. ALONE! She threw the note at the red headed girl behind her, hoping to hit her in the throat and watch her choke.

The note made it's way back to her desk. What are you doin' this weekend? Tam sighed and rammed her head into the desk repeatedly.

Halfway toward a concussion, the bell rang, signaling the end of Skool. Tam hoped out of her desk happily and ran to the door, almost losing her wig in the process.

Keem followed her. "Hey, Tam! Wait up!"

/oh, Shit/ She then ran full speed toward Deb's last period class.

Keem followed. "Are we playing tag? Oh, boy!"

/how stupid can someone be/ She dodged people through the hall and ignored the teachers' protest at her running.

Until she saw a familiar stalk of hair. "DEEEEB!"

The paranormalist turned around just in time to be tackled to the ground by her girlfriend.

Tam hugged Deb tightly. "LOOK OUT, PSYCHO STALKER!" she pointed a shaking figure at the red head.

Keem looked at Deb. "Oh, hi Deb. How are you?"

Deb sighed. "Hi Keem."

"You guys wanna go to the cheese festival this weekend? It's all cheese all the time!"

Deb stood up and brushed herself off before walking passed the red head. "No, Keem, we have other things that need to be done. Desperately. How about a rain check?" the girl smiled back at Keem before walking away with Tam.

((Tam's Base))

"MASTAH! THEM BOYS DO THEIR WORK! BE PROUD!"

Tam stood at the open door, and was nearly blown away by GIR's screams. "Adjust you volume, GIR! You're going to kill my ears."

Deb cocked an eyebrow. "Wait you don't have any--"

"SILENCE!" Tam walked completely inside, leaving the door open for Deb.

Deb closed the door lightly and followed Tam to the elevator.

Once the door opened, they were relieved (and somewhat disappointed) to see their counterparts actually working.

Tam walked over and looked over at what they were working on while Deb explored the lab a little.

The female Irken tapped the laser in Zim's hand, getting his attention. "How far are you?"

Zim didn't look up. "We got pretty far and made a few slight adjustments so that the dimension's coordinates number can be installed."

"Do we have that yet?"

Tam looked over at Dib as he shook his head. "It'll be a little bit until we get that."

She nodded, understanding. "It seems you two have everything under control. Proceed." She walked away from the two and over to her own chair, where she watched the camera's.

Finding nothing worth mentioning, she decided to find where Deb wandered. Standing up, she walked in the direction the human took hardly ten minutes ago and found her sitting in front of a small screen, whispering to tallest purple.

"Is that all the information you can give me?"

"Any more and Red might kill me, human."

"Oh. Okay, what about on the dimensions?"

Purple sighed and turned, grabbing a small disk from her pocket. "This is all the information we could find at this time."

From off screen, Red's voice was heard. "Your lucky you're getting that for Tam's interruption."

Purple glared and threw something at her mate.

"Owwies!"

Sighing, she put the disk in. one of the bottom screens started to fill with Irken symbols. Deb stared at it, confused.

"You can't read it, Deb. Don't even try." Tam stepped forward and looked at the screen, missing Deb's blush.

After a moment, Tam smiled and looked back up at the Tallest. "Thank you for your help. I will repay you." She paused. "Unless, of course, we lose contact or I forget."

Purple's shoulders slumped. "Oh, thanks." A beep could be heard in the background. "Well we have another call. Good luck." The screen went out

((Membrane house))

Gim walked down the hall, eyes glued to the game slave in front of him. Her sister and "brother" came home nearly an hour ago and locked themselves in their room.

"Jeez, I swear." He found himself grumbling until he heard a little beep in the living room.

Curious, he walked into the room to see his mother's watch on the coffee table. After a few seconds a voice came out of it.

"Hello?" who ever it was, they sounded annoyed.

Growling, Gim picked up the little device. "Who is it?"

"None of your business." The tiny screen faded in and the young boy found himself staring into squinted eyes.

((Next day: outside Tam's base))

"I'm spending my weekend sending you back to your dimension. How boring."

Dib glared. "Boring? What exciting thing do you usually do?"

Deb turned back, a cheeky grin on her face.

The boy sighed. "Okay, never mind."

She put her hand on the doorknob. "Well, I guess it's not really that dull. After all, it is pretty cool seeing what I'd be if I was a boy." She turned the doorknob, opened the door and froze.

Behind her, Dib noticed her neck go pale. "What's wrong?" He looked over her shoulder to see the base torn apart. The couch was flipped over, the television had a hole in the screen and the wires from the ceiling hung low, broken to pieces.

GIR crawled out for under the flipped couch, sobbing. "Mean men came and took Master and Zimmy away!"

* * *

Tapan: ooooooooh. Suspense! Anywho, I like this chapter (and I finished before my father came! YAY!). Hehe, I put Keef in. I just had to. So review! I love reviews, the make me oh so happy, like a jolly fat child with a cupcake hat. 


	8. and you don't

Tapan: it's too HOOOOOT! I wish it was still winter. /whimpers/

Torna: oh stop complaining! Maybe if you room weren't such a mess, it would seem a lot cooler.

Tapan: I doubt it. Anyway, this chapter took me a bit longer. I donno why, I just lost my train of thought.

Torna: you say that as if it's rare.

Tapan: shut up!

Disclaimer: I don't own. Maybe I'll find Jhonen and ask him for it, but I doubt he'll give me his share. (maybe Nickelodeon would be more willing to hand it over…)

Warning: SLASH! Once again, I'll have no problems with flames. So give me the best ya got!

(stay tuned after the Fanfic for thank yous and replies to reviews!)

The two humans stared at the sobbing robot; panic ensued in their eyes. "WHAT!"

GIR pulled the puppy hood down, his antennae whipped in the air before collapsing against his metal head. "Master and Zimmy came upstairs for a snack. Then the ninjas flew in through the wind with these big ray guns. Then they told master that she was fat, and then she screamed like a poodle. A POODLE! And jumped at them with flying fists of fury. Zim fought off the Men in Black until they shoved him in a bag." The robot broke down and cried. "WHY, WILL SMITH, WHY?"

Dib blinked at GIR, then at Deb.

Deb, who had years of practice in GIRnese, sighed at the boy's confused expression. "Men broke in to the house, started talking about what they thought of the irken form. Tam fought and then was captured, and they shoved Zim in a bag."

Dib's face lit up. "Oooh."

All three stood silently, staring at each other.

Then they all started screaming.

"Wait…wait…. guys?" The computer sighed. "SHUT UP!" it's roar silenced the two humans. GIR continued to scream until a lollipop fell from the ceiling, the little robot took it without hesitation. "Running around screaming is not gonna find your mates. Now, be smart about it, damn it! This isn't like you, Deb."

The girl smiled sheepishly at the house. "I guess I just lost my head."

"Wait." Dib piped up. "If they tore through all those wires, how are you still talking?"

The computer paused for a second. "Well, I guess that's one wire that they missed." Silence swept through the house. "Err, anyway, back to my point. I say you go out and find these men, by any means possible." A few wires started to spark, as if trying to load something. "The kidnapping happened almost 3 hours ago. I'm sure if you look around, you'll find some sort of clue to who they are."

"Is there anything you can tell us?"

"Yes, they were definitely human."

Dib slouched slightly. "Well, that narrows it down to the entire planet."

"Well, I'm so-rry!" the house sighed. "Just go, and take GIR with you. I need to repair and I can't have him running around, making things worse." A half broken claw came out from the wall, picked the little robot up and dropped him in Dib's arms. GIR looked up at him, smiled then nuzzled his chest, humming a happy tune.

Right after that, the claw pushed them out the door.

((Membrane house))

As soon as the two stepped foot in the house, an envelope came out of no where and hit Deb between the eyes, landing on the floor at her feet.

Gim popped his head out from the kitchen, grumbling. "You got a letter."

She picked up the white paper, observing it carefully. Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully at the return address. "I don't remember sending anything to this place." With that, she ripped open the envelope and pulled out the official looking letter.

Ms. Deb (blurred for reasons you need not know)

We are proud to inform you that you're proof of alien existence is valid. Within the next month, we will be sending some of our finest officers over to the base to investigate. Any information discovered, you will be informed.

Thank you for the information.

It wasn't signed with a name; instead it was signed "American institute of the paranormal."

"SHIT!" Deb covered her mouth after the word slipped out.

Behind her, she could hear GIR's giggle. "Debby's got a dirty mouth. We have ta clean it out! With ONIONS!" The little robot then slipped from Dib's grip, ran over to Gim, and sat down on the couch.

"What's wrong?" the boy looked over Deb's shoulder and at the letter.

"We found out who took Tam and Zim."

((In some lab))

There was silence.

The humming of machines was the first thing to wake Tam up. They were way too loud to be her own, and if GIR broke something, she'd have to go rescue the poor instrument from the little psycho.

Opening her eyes, she found her sight to be blurred, as if she was in some liquid. She moved slightly to find that to be true. The odd thing was, she could breath. And she was no longer wearing any clothes.

"Swimming" to her side, she found herself ram into a surface of some sort. Putting her hand up to it she found it to be glass. The glass surrounded her completely in a perfect cylinder. Looking passed the glass, she saw a few people in white lab coats pressing buttons below, studying her.

She followed around when another tank caught her eye. It sat right next to hers. Inside she could see her male counterpart positioned in a tight ball, unconscious. His pack was gone and in it's place were wires in order to keep him alive.

Panicked, she reached around to check her own. Hers was still attached, and didn't seem to be tampered with. Relieved, she allowed herself to relax slightly. Until she heard a few shouts.

"The pack has leached on to silver!"

"Get him down and take it off!"

"LET GO OF ME YOU FILTHY HUMANS!" five men jumped on one of the men in order to get the pack off. "I will rule you ALL!"

Once the pack was pulled off, it scurried around the floor. When it realized it didn't have a body to help it walk, the spider legs sprouted from it and it climbed around, desperate for a host. As the pack circled the room, the scientists pushed their backs up against the walls. Turning, the pack suddenly jumped into the air and landed on Zim's tank.

Lightly, it scratched at the tank as if trying to get to the irken. One of the braver men pulled out a sheet and threw it at the pack knocking it down and successfully capturing it. When they got it, they put the little machine in a small, glass container to be analyzed.

If Tam didn't know any better, she thought she heard the pack whimper for its host.

((Membrane house))

"Okay, so hears the plan." Deb laid a map of the building down on the coffee table. "We take the spoons from the kitchen and dig a tunnel under the building. We use mom's laser gun in order to get into the foundation and then once up, we stab everybody in the eyes with these toothpicks I just found in the couch." She pointed to a room, were two green stick figures where tied up to a chair. "Then we rescue Tam and Zim and run for it. Any questions?"

"Where'd the map come from?"

"I donno. I found it in my bag. Maybe it came with the letter."

The two sat, pondering the mysteries of the sudden appearing map.

Suddenly, Deb was hit upside the head with a bat. After a moment, she fell off the couch and to the floor, where GIR began to poke her with a stick. She shook it off and looked up to see Gim standing near the two, bat in hand.

He leaned the bat on his shoulder and snorted. "You've got to be kidding with such a stupid plan. You'll get yourselves killed, along with Tam and Zim." His eyes went into their usual squint as he studied the map. After a few seconds, he spoke again. "Why not, go through the air vents, drop GIR in a room to distract them and then go get Tam and Zim. It'll be a loot easier and you can damage their labs so they won't try something like this again."

Silence filled the room. The only sound was GIR's puppy suit squeaking as he ran around the couch.

After a minute or so, Deb sighed. "How would we get to an air vent?"

"There's one in the bathroom above the toilet." He pokes the room with the toilet in it. "You should pay attention to these things, you idiot."

"And how do you get there?"

Gim cocked an eyebrow. "Just walk in through the front door." He pointed to the giant room attached to the front door. "They have a lobby."

Everyone paused, until Dib said what they were all thinking. "Why would they even bother with a lobby?"

Gim shrugged.

Blinking, Dib smiled slightly. "Well, I gotta say, I like the sound of that plan."

Deb sighed. "Well, I guess that'll have to do. So, what will we need?"

They all stood in silence once again. I like silence. It's very nice sometimes. But not this time.

Gim sighed and finally spoke, as if it were obvious. "A screwdriver and a crowbar." He then walked away, and upstairs into his room. Muffled speech could be heard from upstairs. The paranormalists ignored it and continued to figure out exactly what to do.

GIR, however, followed the boy upstairs, climbing them carefully. He stood in front of his door and scratched at it lightly.

The whispers began to silence, and then Gim spoke. "Go away."

"But I love you!"

"I don't care."

"But I don't wanna be downstairs with them. They are no fun, and they're always talking to themselves, and their giant heads get in the way of the TV! Yous is good fun! I like yous a lot!"

A couple of more whispers. He let out an angry sigh before opening the door to let the robot in. the door shut behind GIR and locked.

((Outside the lab: the next night))

Deb, Dib and GIR stood in front of the building; somewhat unimpressed by the size and the shape it was in. it was clearly old, at least ten years, and that's giving it credit. It looked a lot like a warehouse, except with a giant satellite on the top.

Sighing, Dib turned to his counterpart. "Well, it's now or never." Taking a deep breath, they walked into the building.

Inside it looked a little more modernize. In fact, it was almost as if this was a decent place. A woman sat behind a giant oak desk, filing her nails.

She looked over at them, and then looked down at GIR with a sneer. "No dogs are allowed on the grounds."

"Oh, we need him though." Deb shoved a leash in Dib's hand. "He's blind."

The woman glared. "Do you think I'm an idiot? He's wearing glasses!"

Deb thought about it for a minute before Dib spoke up. "That's to keep me from becoming blinder!"

The woman watched Dib suspiciously. "Alright then. May I help you?"

The female paranormalist walked up to the table. "Yeah, can we use you restroom?"

"Yeah it's down the hall and to your left."

"Thank you. Come on, Dib!" taking the boy's coat sleeve, she pulled him down the hall, with GIR skipping merrily by their side.

Tapan: All right! Here we are/pulls out the list of reviews/ I will now respond to each and every one of you to the best of my ability!

Torna/sarcastic/ oh yay, I'm about to keel over with excitement…

Tapan: it's in the order I got them, so yeah. (Unless you posted more than one review. If that's the case, you'll have one big paragraph. Depending on what you said of course!)

Pinky-pseudonym: I hope I met your demands:) I think GIR-o-vision might've been my proudest moment, thank you for the compliment. I didn't even realize that I had the anonymous review doohickey off, silly me! Thank you for telling me, and I'm glad you're happy! And as a side note, I love your DA, your stuff is great. :D

Chickens: I'm glad you're enjoying the fic, thank your for your reviews!

Lurkindarkness: yeah I know! I didn't know what to do with Dark Bootie, so I kept him a guy…he he. And yes, GIR is adorable; they should make real GIRs and sell them. Yeah! They'll be more popular than Furby by a long shot! Thank you!

Moonglo: thank you! I try to keep them IC (sometime it gets hard to do!) it makes me happy that people like that :).

Slashluver88: YAY! Thanky for your reviews and ideas (both on and off line) love ya, buddy!

Azura Bushroot: I'm sorry I made your heart explode! I didn't mean it…this time ;)

Akuweaselgirl: I donno where ta came from. Hm. Something to ponder. Thank you for favoritizing me :D I love you too.

Andalitebandit-6: Yes. Dib's a pansy, but we love him anyways. FLUFF IS GOOD FOR YOOU! It makes me happy that people find my stuff funny n.n and actually, to be honest, I didn't have any intention of anyone messing with Dib's waffles, but then I saw your review and got an idea! I love how that works! I think I had a doll like that too, was it those strawberry shortcake dolls? Hmmmm, oh and I love your fics! I've been meaning to review for them but haven't. Procrastination screwed me over . 

Capra Hircus: thank you, Tam's mind was hard to figure out, but Deb was pretty easy to get across (maybe I can relate to Deb more.) Dib's paranoid mind is EXTREMELY fun to toy with; I don't think I've ever had so much fun playing with someone's mind as much as I do him! And I thought so, Dib can be somewhat feminine at times, and I find that very cute. Always remember, Patience is a virtue that no one I know has!

Delphinbella: Hehehe, I'm glad you enjoy my story!

Aqwidicate: thanks again for agreeing to draw them for me!

BrokenxStars: YAY! I turn someone! And yay for school girl giggles! They rock hard!

Fallendragon424: do not worry! More is here! And, it'll keep coming, it's not like Jhonen's gonna hunt me down and kill me.

/outside of the room, something explodes, followed by the sound of bees./

Tapan: what was that?

Torna/opens door a crack, then slams it shut and leans up against it/ that would be Jhonen!

Jhonen/banging on other side of the door/ I'm gonna get me some slash fans!

Tapan: O.O! Well, R&R people, hopefully I'll still be here to continue this. /door explodes. / RUUUUN!


	9. know

/Tapangowa and Torna sitting on the floor, sharing a bowl of popcorn. In the background, Jhonen is tied down to a chair with a bandana tied around his mouth, and doesn't look too happy about it./

Tapan: I survived! And with the help of my buddy, Torn Torn, we got him down!

Torna/ walks over to Jhonen/ I wonder what he has in his pockets begins to search.

Jhon: 0.0 /struggled in vain to get away./

Torna: lets see. Some money, skiddles, that big sticky hand thing…hey! holds up a piece of paper a list of Slash fans!

Tapan: really? Wow! Anywho, on with the fic!

Disclaimer: even though I have the owner tied to a chair, I myself don't own Invader Zim.

Warning: Slash! Once again, flame if you wish… I really don't care.

* * *

The two humans and the disguised robot stood in front of two doors. One of them was marked MEN, the other one marked WOMEN.

GIR hummed to himself as Dib and Deb glanced from door to door, then they looked at each other.

Dib shrugged. "I guess it depends on which ones empty."

Deb nodded. "We should check then shouldn't we."

With that, they walked into their respective rooms to check for people.

"This one's empty!" Dib walked out.

The girl stuck her head out. "So is this one."

They stood in silence again, until Dib pulled a coin out of his pocket and flipped it. "Call it."

"Heads."

He caught the coin and put it to the back of his other hand, then looked down at it. "It's tails."

The female paranormalist stepped out of the doorway. "So, Men's room it is." They both walk in, taking GIR with them

((Where have all the good men gone  
and where are all the gods?))

"Crowbar?" Deb put her hand out as Dib placed the piece of metal in it

"Crowbar." He looked up at the vent they were going to climb into. "That's pretty high up. I don't think you'll be able to open it like that."

Deb paused, looked down at her counterpart and then looked back up. "You're right. GIR!"

"Yup!"

"I need you to help." The little robot walked over to Deb's side. "I'm gonna boost you up and you pry the air vent open."

"Okkie dokkie!" the robot jumped into Deb's arms and was lifted until he was about even with the vent. Not bothering to take the crowbar from Deb, his puppy hood fell back and out of the top of his head came a laser. Carefully aiming, he cut the metal vent off and let it drop.

It landed on Deb's head. "Ow! Hey!"

"Oppsies!" that's all he said before he jumped out of Deb's hand and into the vent, leaving the two humans with yet another problem.

"Um, how are we gonna get up?"

The girl turned to Dib, smiling.

((Where's the street-wise Hercules  
To fight the rising odds?))

"Okay a little to the left." Deb, now sitting on Dib's shoulders, directed the boy the way to go. "Okay that's too far. Careful of the toilet."

"Could you just get up there?" his knees threatened to buckle. "Do you realize how heavy you are?"

Without hesitation, Deb punched him in the head.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Just take a guess! Now, hold still!" Deb grabbed onto the opening and pulled herself in. with extreme difficultly, she managed to turn around and lean out to grab Dib and pull him in. the boy hit his head hard on the way in, which GIR found amusing and began to giggle.

Then someone walked into the bathroom to see Dib's boot crawling in about a stall.

"Hey! What're you doing?"

The boy's eyes widened. Quickly, he forced his voice deeper. "Well, I'm fixing the air conditioners. They broke and stuff."

The man went silent. "Oh okay then!"

Deb crawled backward a little, before sighing. "I'm not even gonna try to turn around again."

Dib looked past her a ways. "It opens up a little farther down. Just go backwards."

Deb nodded, and then started moving backwards. GIR walked in front of them without a problem.

Once in the clearing, Deb turned around, almost kicking her counterpart in the process. She looked back at him, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry, Dib." She looked forward. "Who has the map?"

GIR raised his hand then pulled the paper out from behind his back. "It's smells like moth balls!"

Sighing, Deb took it and opened it up. "Okay, they're a ways down. Better get going. GIR, we're going to let you out in this room." She pointed at the room over from the one with Tam and Zim. "That's where you do your thing, then come find us, okay."

"Yupperooskies!"

They then continued down the vent.

((Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?  
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need))

"The female's getting slightly hostile. What should we do?"

One of the men looked up at the tank and snorted. "Let her try and get out. I doubt she will."

Inside the tank, Tam pushed herself off one wall into the other side, in hoped to break it. It didn't even budge. Growling, she sank slightly, rubbing her sore arm. She glance over at Zim to see his eye twitch open, then shut again.

She allowed herself to float over to the side and put her hands on the tank. "ZIM, YOU MORON! WAKE UP!" her voice was numbed by the liquid.

Realizing this, she allowed the spider legs to come out and began to claw at the sides, as Zim's pack did earlier. It did little good.

Now in complete psycho mode, any form of laser she had came out of the pack until she exhausted herself and had to stop.

The scientist simply watched her vain attempts of escape. Their gazes annoyed her.

So she gave them the finger.

"Do you think that's some form of greeting on her planet?" the men all mutter to what the meaning could be.

_No you idiot! Now let me out!_ The irken continued to bang on the glass. She was getting a headache.

The humans in the room didn't care.

Sighing the best she could, her hands slide down to her sides. She remembered back to when she put Deb into a tank similar to this, only it played with time. That was a while back. And then the poor girl became stuck in slow motion. Needless to say, she was not too happy when she returned to normal.

Tam couldn't help but allow herself a few snickers. This caused the men below to look up at her again.

_Jeez, I can't even move without these guys watching me. Isn't it bad enough that they took my clothes?_ She glanced over at Zim's tank once again to see he wasn't in his protective ball any more. But he was by no means awake.

The wires tangled themselves around his legs in order to straighten him out. He didn't seem to offer any form of resistance.

The men gathered around him, taking notes as they observed the male irken.

Tam rammed herself into the glass once again.

((I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight))

Crawling through the metal vent carefully, the two humans struggled as GIR just skipped along, humming to himself.

Stopping for a minute, Deb glanced at the map, then at the vent before her. Shaking her head, she tucked the map under her arm and crawled on.

Dib, however, didn't see the vent and almost fell through. He gasped slightly, causing Deb to snap her head around the find out what went wrong.

"Be careful!" she hissed lightly before continuing on. Dib sighed and followed behind.

A few minutes later, the trio came across another vent. Once again, she pulled out the map, studied it, and then smiled. "This is where you get off, GIR."

The little robot squealed and clapped happily as the humans pried open the vent.

Moving it out of the way, Deb turned to GIR. "Once you're done, find us and we'll get out of here, okay?"

"Do I get my suck munkey?"

Deb sighed. "Yeah, why not?"

"And a large popcorn?"

"Um, okay."

And a trip to the moon with all me pals and the leprechauns that speak German?"

"Yeah, whatever! Just go!"

GIR's demeanor became serious as he saluted and jumped through the vent and to the ground below.

Closing it up, Deb smirked at Dib, who nodded back. The two then crawled on.

((I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life))

The men stood around the green puppy, puzzled.

"Where did it come from?"

"Is it a ghost?"

"Maybe the little guy escaped from the chubercaubra alien crossbreeding section."

GIR just looked back and forth as the men continued to wonder where he came from.

After a moment, GIR cleared his throat slightly before a voice recording of Gim came on. "Hello guys. I would like to give you a little present. I think it will be very useful in your research."

GIR's hood popped off and his head opened up and out came an alien grenade.

"Here's yous present, mister!" the robot threw it to one of the men, who (like an idiot) caught it. It exploded, spraying an acid like substance at him. The man cried out in pain.

As this was happening, GIR jumped on the top of another person's head, his eyes now red. The little compartment in his head opened once again and out came a stapler. He took it in his little hands, put it up to the person's ear and stapled it to his head.

The man joined his companion in the panicked scrams as the little terror jumped off him and onto the computers, which he easily smashed in.

Slowly, another worker walked up to GIR slowly. "Okay there, little guy. That's enough. Maybe you should go back to where you came from."

Slowly, GIRs head turned around in a very exorcist fashion. The guy squeaked and the insane SIR unit glared at him.

The screams continued.

((Somewhere after midnight  
in my wildest fantasy  
somewhere just beyond my reach  
there's someone reaching back for me))

"Zim." The irken whipped around at the light whispers of his name. This had been the tenth time someone called to him.

It was getting really annoying.

"Who the hell are you? What do you want?" he glared at the black void, daring someone to appear.

No one did.

Shaking slightly, Zim collapsed to his knees and punched the "ground" lightly. The impact became harder with each hit until he screamed out and nearly broke his hand.

As a pain shot up his arm, he glared at the floor, as if it was it that was all to blame. He wiped at his eye lightly, then looked down at his gloved hand to find it wet.

"What? Tears?" he stood up and shook the droplets off. "Zim does not cry!"

Then he found a pair of arms circle around behind him in a hug.

He looked down at them and followed the arms around to find Dib smiling back down at him.

"Hello, space boy." The name lacked its original bite as he spoke.

The alien blushed slightly as the taller boy leaned in and kissed him.

Zim pulled away. "Where am I?"

Dib sighed and cupped Zim chin lightly. "You, my friend, are dreaming."

They stood in that position in silence for a second. Before:

"Am I dead?"

The paranormalist blinked. "No! I just told you where you are!" he paused. "Man, Zim. We were having a nice moment too."

"Oh…so I didn't die?"

"No, you idiot!"

"Okay, mister smarty then where am I?" the alien put his hands on his hips, glaring at the human.

"Okay, Zim, listen. You're not dead, just in a deep dream-like state. But don't worry, you'll be fine soon enough."

"Oh, okay." He paused. "So I'm not dead."

Chuckling, Dib hugged his mate. "You're catching on."

((Racing on the thunder end rising with the heat  
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet))

"Okay, this is it." Deb looked up nervously. "You ready?"

With a deep breath, the boy cleaned the cobwebs off his hair and spoke. "As ready at I'll ever be."

She nodded then began to tend to the cover, with the help of Dib. After pulling it off, she looked at Dib, silently instructing him to go through first.

Nodding, he jumped through. None of the men his landing, they were busy studying the irken male.

As Dib saw this, a surge of jealously and the need to protect lit up his body, seeming to give him more guts than any form of adrenaline or testosterone could do.

Seeing some metal piece, he picked it up and began to walk over to the men, ignoring Tam's silent protest.

He then began to hit each and every man in the head.

As he was doing this, Deb dropped down, her eyes widening as she saw him beat on one guy in particular.

"Dib? Dib. DIB!" she grabbed him by the shoulder in order to make him stop.

The boy stood up straight, panting and glaring down at the bodies.

Deb chuckled and patted the boy on the back. "Never mess with Dib's man, eh?"

The boy's face turned red from both the activity and the embarrassment as they tended to the irkens.

Tam stared back down at Deb. Their eyes caught each other for a moment before the female irken smiled weakly.

Tearing her eyes away, Deb looked over at Dib, who was using the metal he found to try and break the glass of Zim's container.

"Uh, Dib?"

He didn't respond. Deb shrugged as she pressed a few buttons before her, which opened Tam's tank. The irken fell out, coughing up a mouthful of the fluids in the tank.

Deb offered a hand to Tam. "Are you okay?"

Tam took the hand and smiled a psycho's smile. "I've seen worse wounds in battles you could only imagine, human." She tried to stand, only to find her legs unable to hold her weight.

Deb frowned, then looked over at Dib. Rolling her eyes, she left Tam's side for the moment and walked between Dib and the tank.

Pressing the buttons, Zim soon fell out and lay on the ground, motionless. The wires tore from his back lightly, leaving the hole where his pack should be.

"You have to get his pak, or he'll die." Tam pointed at a box covered by a long cloth. "It's in there."

Dib walked up to the box as it began to move. Pulling the cloth off, he saw the pack pacing in its glass cage. Opening it, the pack jumped out and landed behind him. Panicked, it ran around before it saw Zim lying on the ground. With urgency, it walked over to Zim, and reattached itself to his back.

He didn't wake up.

"What's wrong? Shouldn't he be fine now?" Deb looked over at Tam.

She pulled herself over to check it out. "They must've done something, but we can't worry about that now. We have to get out of her before--"

The sound of alarms rung throughout the building.

Tam sighed. "That happens. Deb! Help me get up!"

"No time." The human female knelt down and pulled tam onto her back. Immediately, the green girl's arms circled around her partner's neck.

Dib simply lifted Zim before Tam stopped him.

"Dib, get Zim on your back!"

"How's that gonna work? He can't hold on."

"Just trust me!"

After a moment's hesitation and another moment struggling with the irken, Dib got Zim on his back in the same fashion, with Zim lying limp against his spine.

Quickly, Tam pressed a few things on Zim's pack, causing the spider legs to come out and circle around Dib's chest. The human squeaked as he felt the metal claws against his shirt.

"Okay! Let's go now!" Tam pointed forward and bucked lightly as if Deb was a horse. The human ignored it and moved on.

((I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight))

"There they are! Get em!"

"Block all the doorways!"

The two humans ran down the hallways with the irkens on their backs and the guards on their heels. Never once did they dare glance back, Tam did that for them. She even gave the men a good swipe with a few lasers.

Yet, they kept coming.

"Don't these guys know when to quit?" Deb kept her eyes forward as she spoke.

As she ran, she saw GIR tearing at a guy's ear with little metal teeth. The man was screaming out in pain, clawing his way out into the hall.

Tam looked forward to see the sight. "GIR?"

At the sound of his master's voice, his crimson eyes turned back to their original happy blue. He looked up at them. "Hiya, Master!"

Quickly, Tam wrapped her spider legs around Deb, using one of them to lift GIR and placed the little robot in her arms.

"GIR?" the robot's head shot around to see Tam's eyes tearing, a small smile on her face. "I've never felt so proud of you as I do right now." She hugged the robot close.

He goggled in response.

"Yeah, good work, GIR. Now lets get the hell out of here." Deb turned the corner into a room, only keeping the door open long enough for Dib to follow her suit. Outside the door, they heard the men trample passed.

Tam looked out the door, still on Deb's back. "I think we should stay here for a while.

Deb nodded.

"Hey! How'd we get to the third floor?" Dib looked out the window, to see the ground farther down than it should be.

"The third floor!" Deb walked over to the window and looked out. Seeing the boy was right, she groaned loudly.

Which was heard by the guards outside.

"You idiot!" Tam hit her upside the head.

((I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life))

the door flew open, revealing heavily armed men and one scientist.

The scientist adjusted her huge glasses and looked up at the two. "I know you don't want to fight. All you have to do is hand over the aliens and you will not be penalized." She put out her arms as if the teenagers will just hand them over.

Tam growled lightly, silently telling Deb her feelings on the subject.

Dib tightened his grip on Zim's legs protectively. "Like hell we'll hand them over to you!"

Deb nodded in response. " You'll have to pry them from our cold, dead fingers!"

The woman frowned then shook her head. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but you seem so stubborn. If that's the way you feel, then will have to take them by force." The men started forward, causing the two to back up in order to keep space between them. "You will NOT be leaving the building with the aliens."

"Deb?" the girl looked over at her counterpart, slightly nervous. He stared forward at the men, his jaw locked. "I'm going to do something stupid."

"What?"

He didn't respond, instead, he charged forward into the men, throwing his shoulder into anyone he could.

Soon, they all closed around him. He jumped off a shorter guys head and made himself a path.

One of the men cocked his gun, before the scientist stopped him. "No! you'll hit the specimen!"

Deb soon followed the suit, plowing into anyone she could.

Until the two were hopelessly outnumbered.

Then a gun went off, and a familiar bat hit a couple of the men on the head, knocking them unconscious.

((Up where the mountains meet the heavens above  
Out where the lightning splits the sea

I would swear that there's someone somewhere  
Watching me))

In the new opening were two figures. The closer one took the bat away from the man's head and snorted lightly.

Gim snorted. "You call this a rescue?"

The girl with the gun walked up. "Hmph! Some rescue!" she stopped next to the magenta hair boy.

Dib's eyes widened. "Gaz?"

Gaz looked up at her older brother as he stepped up to her.

"Gaz, what are you doing he--" his face snapped painfully as she slapped him.

She glared at him. "What the hell do you think you were doing? You idiot! You could've gotten yourself killed, along with Zim!"

Dib stared at her, astonished. /was Gaz…worried/he shook off the thought and traded it in for a smile.

Gaz blinked when she saw it. "What?"

If Dib had a free hand to hug her, he would. "I'm just so happy to see you!"

Her eyes squinted. "Yeah, yeah. Let's just get out of here."

The dysfunctional group ran down the hallway.

Until they were once again chased down the halls. The group ran, Gaz used her gun until it ran out of bullets, then threw it at one of them, knocking him out.

Gim bashed anyone he could with the bat. The only problem was it was only good if they got too close. He would, however, smash it in to different things in the hallway, in hopes of pushing it in the way.

Tam was the only real help out of the group. She would turn around every so often and shoot a laser or two at the men from her pack. Although, she couldn't really keep it up for long, then had to rest.

Then the group met the dreaded dead end! The only think that could be used as an escape was the widow before them. Unfortunately, they were still on the third floor.

"What are we going to do?" Deb looked around. Nothing could be used as a weapon, and Tam was already drained as it was.

Then, Dib realized something. "Where's Gim and GIR?"

A horn beeped out the window. Looking outside, they saw a pickup truck full of some form of foam. On the roof of the car, GIR looked up, waving at them.

"Put the aliens down." Gaz instructed harshly. "We have our escape route."

((Through the wind end the chill and the rain  
And the storm and the flood  
I can feel his approach  
Like the fire in my blood))

"Out the window?"

"Out the window."

"That's insane!"

"Who ever accused us of being sane?" Gaz looked back as men were heard down the hall. "Besides, unless you know of a secret exit, we have no choice."

They hesitated, but lowered the irkens to the ground.

Gaz didn't like the hesitation. "Go! Now!"

Out of fear, Dib jumped out the window without a second guess. Gasping and biting back a scream, he landed in the foamy stuff to find it very similar to packing peanuts.

Up above, Deb crossed her arms. "I'm not going."

Gaz glared, then nodded. "Okay fine." Her eyes widened and she pointed behind the paranormalist. "Look, Deb! A ghost!"

The older girl turned. "Huh? Where?"

This is where Gaz pushed her out the window. "I can't believe she fell for that."

Tam and Gaz gazed at each other for a moment, thinking how this was going to work.

"You'll have to throw me, Human."

"Seems about right." Quickly she picked Tam up, hung her out the window and dropped her into Deb's waiting arms. The impact knocked her back into the peanuts.

Three down, one to go.

She looked at the passed out Zim, thinking. She didn't want to make whatever was wrong worse. Hell she'd never hear the end of it.

The men were insight, but far down the hallway.

With some quick thinking, Gaz grabbed Zim by the arm and began to lower him slowly. Things were flowing nice and easily.

Until Zim woke up.

"Uh… wha..?"His eyes looked down lazily, and then snapped open when he realized he was hanging from a window. "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" he clung to the arm holding him tightly, not bothering to look up.

Gaz growled. "Good morning, Zim. Now let go!" she shook her arm.

The irken tightened his grip and shook his head. "No!"

"yes!"

"no!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

Gaz snarled, then leaned forward and did the unthinkable.

She bit down hard into the green skin.

With a loud yelp, Zim let go falling onto Dib.

At this point the guards were right next to her.

Without thinking, Gaz jumped. The guards' hands grazed her, but missed her none-the-less.

Once she landed, she opened the window to the front. "Go!"

Just as the words escaped her lips, Gim pressed down hard on the gas, making the car rush down the road.

Many people dived out of the way in order to avoid the giant speeding truck and it's very reckless, very inexperienced driver.

Without much effort, the truck ran over the fence, and they were gone.

* * *

Tapan: wow! This chapter got pretty long, I am amazed!

Torna/holding some odd/ remote hey! What's this thingy?

Tapan: where'd you find that?

Torna: Jhonen's pocket.

Jhon/looks defeated/

Tapan: let me see it/grabs it/

Torna/pulls at it/ no, I'm looking at it!

Tapan n Torna/ tugging on the device back and forth until it shoots a ray right at Jhonen./

Tapan: um, oops. throws it at Torna you can have it.

Torna: y-you made him disappear…. Without pants!

Pants: meow!

Tapan: did Jhonen keep a cat in his pants?

Jhon/in kitty form, out of the pants/ you idiots! Look what you did to me! I swear when I turn back to normal!… /watches their stares./ what?

Tapan: aww! He's so cute/pulls the Jhonen Kitty into a hug./

JhKitty: hey! No! stop!

Tapan: can I keep him, torna?

Torna:….yeah I guess so.

Tapan/still hugging kitty./ Yay! So R&R people! It makes me happy when people review!

JhKitty: I'm going to KILL you!


	10. why

Tapan/reads the reviews/ hey, Jhonen! They seem to like you as a kitty. I got two reviewers saying they want one!

Jhkitty: NOOOO!

Tapan/ignores the kitten anguish/ hmm, maybe I should lend you out to people so they could use you in their fics! I think I'll do that!

Jhkitty/whimpers/ why me?

Torna: hey, better you than me.

Tapan: yeah, cause no one gets my Torn Torn/hugs Torna/

Torna: oh god.

Disclaimer: I have turned Jhonen into a kitty! But, sadly, he and Nick still own invader Zim, now isn't that sad?

Warning: Slash! If you wanna flame, go right ahead and do so. I have yet to get any though.

* * *

The truck screeched to a stop once it hit the road, much to the confusion of the passengers in the back

"Um. Why did we stop?" using her spider legs, Tam crawled up to peer into the cockpit area of the truck to see Gim turn around, looking at her with glaring eyes.

"Don't question me, Tam. Do you remember the last time that happened?"

Tam shuddered at the memory, the cries of pain still vivid in her head. And the mongoose! OH THAT MONGOOSE!

She turned around and hugged Deb, whimpering in the girl's chest. The human just sighed. "But why exactly did we--"

BOOOM!

The labs went up into a fiery explosion. Many people ran from the building, patting the fires out from their bodies. Others could be heard inside screaming for help.

Gaz threw the detonator to GIR, who smiled and then ate it. "That's why we stopped." She then jumped in through the small window as Gim started the pick up again and headed home.

"Gaz, I've been wondering." Pulling the half-asleep Zim, Dib moved up to the front of the bed. "How did you get here, exactly?"

"When you two disappeared, you left your little remote thing behind."

Gim nodded. "I gave her the coordinates to this dimension, she made the adjustment and now here we are, driving down the highway with some aliens we just stole from the labs."

Dib's eyes lit up. "So we can get back home with the one you have."

Gaz shook her head. "Dead wrong."

"W-what?" forgetting about Zim momentarily, the boy jumped up toward the window. "Why not?"

"It broke." She pulled out a bunch of wires from he pocket. " It fell and smashed to bits when I got here."

Wide eyed and astonished, Dib moved back from the window. "What are the odds…?" he shook his head. "Why did you come here anyway?"

She turned to look at her brother and spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We're out of soda."

And then a familiar psychotic laugh took over.

Everyone (except Gim, because he's driving) turned to see the source of the cackling. Zim stared at the sky; mouth open wide to allow the sound to come out to it's full potential.

Everyone watched him in confusion. The moment would've been a little more dramatic if it wasn't for GIR giggling along with the former invader.

He calmed down after a while, and then sat up and looked at everyone staring at him. This caused him to laugh even more.

"What's so funny?" Tam demanded.

Taking a few calming breaths, the male irken spoke. "Here I was, innocently trying to get rid of my worse enemy, when I fall into the same problem as him, fall in LOVE with him, and now someone besides him actually believes I'm an alien and we are running away from them. And plus." He chuckled again, restraining his laughter until he got out the last sentence. "We forgot our clothes, so Tam and I are just gonna sit here NAKED." He continued his laughter with full force.

Okay, maybe it really isn't that funny. But he thought it was and soon Tam joined in with the laughter at the ironic humor.

Dib blinked. Love? He hadn't been really thinking about it; was it love? He glared at himself. /What else could it be, you idiot/ He smiled as Tam and Zim sat there, laughing their heads off, holding their sides in pain.

Deb sighed, but joined her counterpart in the smile.

((The Membrane house))

Almost an hour later, they found themselves on a familiar road

Gim sighed as he turned off the stolen vehicle and hopped out, his counterpart mirroring the suit. Walking around to the back, they opened the hatch and went to announce their arrival. However, they both stopped.

In the bed of the truck, four bodies rested peacefully. Zim and Dib laid on one side, snuggled close to each other, both asleep. On the other side, Tam laid on Deb, her head comfortably at the human's neck. The female paranormalist, completely awake, looked over at her brother and "sister" a blank expression in her features.

Gim sighed, frustrated at their obvious comfort. It almost made him not want to bother them. However, his female half seemed to take more force.

"Okay the cute and fluffy crap is gonna make me sick." She jumped up into the bed with little effort and walked over to her brother, tapping him with her toe. When he didn't wake up, she kicked him in the rib.

He gasped at the sharp pain and sat up, much to the displeasure of the irken on top of him. Zim groaned, and cuddled closer to his mate.

Dib, not wanting to invoke his sister's wrath, slipped his arm under Zim's bare legs and lifted him as he stood up. Feeling himself being adjusted, the invader brought his arms up to hand around the human's neck and sighed.

On the other side, Deb took this opportunity to shrug off her coat and wrap it around Tam's slim shoulders before lifting her and standing up.

Gim leaned against the truck and cocked an eyebrow. "What happened to the 'irkens don't sleep' theory?"

Deb shrugged as she carefully jumped out of the bed of the truck. "Maybe it just has to do with the tanks." She then carried the irken to the door, kicked it open, and walked inside.

((Two hours later))

"hmm, from what I see. No damage was done to the pak itself." Tam closed the little pod and felt around the edges. She was now back in her old clothes, a pair that she kept at the human's house for just such an occasion. Zim wore a pair of Deb's pants, which fit him almost perfectly, as he was only a tiny bit smaller than the girl. At the moment, he sat topless as Tam inspected his pod.

She felt around the edge, where the metal met the skin. After a moment, he hand came across something. It was small and paper-like. When she tried to pull it out, Zim whimpered in pain.

She backed away a little. "Zim, take off the pak."

He growled at the idea of being ordered, but did what she said non-the-less. The pack floated off and fell to the ground for the moment. Tam ignored it and looked at the irken's back to see a small piece of metal sticking out of Zim's back, right above the tube the pack hooked into.

"Dib, Deb. Hold Zim still."

Everyone being used to the pushy alien, they both held on to her counterpart, confusing the said double.

"What are you doing?" Zim got his answer as he felt a sharp pain shoot up his back. He screamed out, and tried to pull away from the humans as Tam wiggled the little piece of metal back and forth in order to loosen it.

She smiled as the piece began to slip out and finally detached itself from the green body, making a sound of triumph.

Zim whined in pain, dropping to his knees as the pod reattached itself from the body once again.

Bending down, Dib handed the older boy a shirt, which also belonged to Deb, so it had that trademark face on it.

Zim looked at the shirt then at the human. His eyes watered as he threw himself into the boy's arms.

Unexpected, Dib nearly fell back, but then regained his composure and rubber the extraterrestrial's back. "It's okay, Zim."

Zim sniffled in response, and started to cry harder.

Tam studied the piece of metal that she just pulled out of her counter part. She handed it to Deb. "it must've been a piece of the wire that was jammed into his back."

Deb took it and turned it in the light. "Do you think it's the reason he didn't wake up right away?"

She nodded. "Indeed."

The two watched their counterparts on the floor as the male paranormalist tried to comfort his alien mate.

At the doorway, Gaz turned away, smirking at her new discovery. "I knew it."

* * *

Tapan/giggles/ I like the fluffiness of this chapter. Don't you guys?

Torna/eats a sandwich/

Jhkitty: IT BURNS US!

Tapan: oooookay, anyone else think Jhonen's over reacting?

Torna/raises hand/

Tapan: hehe. So R&R! it feeds the poor!


	11. vertical horizon everything you want

Tapan: this is the last chapter of New world, New rules. Isn't that sad?

Jhkitty: not at all.

Torna: ignore Jhonen. And besides, you're gonna continue it anyway.

Tapan: yeah, but that's a sequel, it doesn't count!

Torna/rolls eyes/ whatever you say, Tapan

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim and I never will. I do, however, own Deb and Tam, so please ask me before using them.

Warning: SLASH! ZADR, hints of RAPR and TADR (Tam and Deb) flame if you like playing with fire!

Thanks: Sora-chan for the lovely drawing of Deb Dib Tam and Zim on DA, I absolutely love it! Thank you Masochist89 for the piccy of Jhkitty, Love ya/huggles/ and thanky all you other reviewers! ROCK ON!

* * *

Hours later, Dib and Zim headed downstairs to allow their female counterparts time alone. Dib looked at Zim as the irken rubbed his swollen red eyes. When he saw the boy staring he offered Dib a smile and walked ahead, but jumped back when they heard dual groans of frustration from the couch.

"Another god damn draw!" Gim yelled through clenched teeth and threw down the game controller.

"Okay! Best 99 out of 100! One is bound to beat the other sooner or later!" she pressed a few buttons on her controller as the purple haired boy picked his back up. Soon they were playing again, mirroring each other's moves perfectly.

Dib glanced over them to see an assortment of games spread out on the floor. He chuckled to himself before heading into the kitchen, Zim at his heels.

((Deb's room))

"How're your legs doing?" the female paranormalist sat down on her bed next to the former invader.

"I still can't walk if that's what you mean." Using the desk for support, Tam stood up on shaky legs before allowing her body to collapse back down. She frowned. "I don't know what's wrong!"

"Maybe you just need to relax for a while."

A perverted glint ran through Tam's eyes. "Or maybe I just need to forget about everything for a while."

Deb cocked an eyebrow. "I don't think that's an option."

"Aw, c'mon Debby!" she moved further over and began drawing little circles above Deb's breast. "We could be quiet."

The human blushed and looked away, trying to ignore the finger. "You're such a pervert."

"isn't that what you like best about me?" the hand moved toward Deb's pants, unzipping them and sliding in the front.

Deb's breath hitched, but she made no move to stop Tam.

Until a raspy voice interrupted. "Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting something."

Deb turned bright red and pulled the alien's hand out. "N-no, not at all agent Dark Bootie!"

Tam pouted before pulling away to allow Deb to work.

"So, what's going on?"

"We found the coordinates of the dimension for your counterparts. It will be sent to you momentarily."

Deb's eyes lit up. "Great! Thank you for you help, Dark bootie. I don't know what I would do without it."

"It's no trouble, Silk Moth. We are always happy to help another swollen eyeball member." He glanced over at Tam. "Although, if you don't mind me saying; it is a shame you grew so attached to your alien enemy. She would've been a fascinating study."

Tam growled at the screen as Deb chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I guess." She looked down at the watch that wasn't there. "Oh, would you look at the time! I have people to send back to their dimension. Will speak again later." She shut the screen off without a goodbye.

"I HATE that guy." Red eyes narrowed at the screen as it floated back to its respective place.

Deb laughed softly. "Yeah I know. You tell me that every time you see him."

"But now I have him more than ever." She crossed her arms. "He interrupted my pleasure time."

"Uh, Tam?"

She ignored her. "I haven't had a proper time with you since the boys came here, and here we are, alone in your room, and that STOOPID agent appears. I mean, I need sex! And, who knows, one of these days you might have smeet and THEN when will we have time?"

"Whoa! Wait! Hold on there!" Deb's eyes widened to the point where it could be nothing but painful. "How's that gonna work? And why am I the one getting pregnant!"

"You'll see how that works. And plus, you have better motherly instincts than I, so it's only logical." Tam nuzzled Deb's shoulder lovingly.

"Y-yeah, I guess you right there."

"I know I'm right. Now take off you clothes!" the alien's hand traveled up the human's shirt. "I want sex, now!"

((in the kitchen))

Dib looked up at the sound of a moan. "Well, I guess Tam won." He pulled a soda out of the fridge

Zim sat down and nodded. "As it should be." His antennae twitched as the sound came again.

Dib ignored it and took a seat next to Zim, opening his soda. "what do you mean 'as it should be'?"

"well, Dib-stink." He pulled the can away before the human could take a sip. "due to how superior the irken race is as compared to humans, we should win every battle no matter what the circumstances." He looked inside the can before taking an experimental sip. Deciding he hated it, he made a noise of disgusted and threw it back at the paranormalist, causing it to spill.

Dib picked up the now half empty can of soda and sighed. "was that really nessessary?"

"Yes. Yea it was."

The boy rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak as he heard the door open. "Hello, son!" Membrane's voice rang through the house, into the kitchen. "And who's this?"

"This is Gaz," the boy spoke in a monotone fashion as he continued his battle with the girl.

Gaz grunted a hello.

Membrane chuckled. "Oh, another counterpart, I see." She patted her "daughter's" head and walked into the kitchen just as Dib shoved Zim under the table to avoid being seen out of his disguise.

Membrane didn't look at either of them, and just walked over to the coffee pot. She poured herself a cup. "Hello, Dib. Hello, Zim." She turned around and leaned against the counter. "I see you got them back from the labs."

"Uh, yeah!"

"It's a shame that people think these poor kids are aliens just because of their skin condition." She moved back to look under the table. "And pink eye!"

Now knowing it was safe, Zim crawled out and took his seat back.

The professor smiled and looked at her watch. "Well, I must get back to work. I will see you later." She then walked away, leaving the boys to their own device.

((Three days later: in Tam's lab))

"And we have finished!" the female invader collapsed to the ground from exhaustion. "Deb! Help me up!"

The girl sighed and pulled her mate to her feet. "So, they can be sent back now?"

Tam stood up triumphantly. "Yup! And it will only go to the one dimension, so we know they'll go to the right place!"

As Tam finished speaking, the two boys rolled out of the elevator that just landed, strangling each other.

The two let this go on for a moment before Deb got a little agitated. "boys. BOYS! Work on your kinky fetishes later. When you back home."

Both paused before Dib pushed Zim off of him and stood up, straightening out his clothes. "I guess bad habits die hard."

"Call it what you want. All I know was if you two continued, it would've ended up turning into something that would scar GIR for life." She gestured toward the robot.

GIR smiled sweetly and waved before running away, most likely to destroy something.

Tam cleared her throat. "As I was saying before; IT IS FINISHED!" the irken held the controller up dramatically.

"So what now?"

"Well." She stood up straight. "We send you back home! We must find Gaz!"

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot she was here." Dib scratched the back of his head before heading out to get his sister.

((Tam's living room))

The six teenagers stood around, as they got ready to depart. All of them had different ways of saying goodbye.

Tam glared at Zim. "Well, my idiotic doppelganger. I guess it's time for you to go."

Zim glared back. "Yes, thank Irk." He turned his back to her and crossed his arms.

"Indeed." She followed the suit. Both of them paused before the female spoke again. "Keep in contact?"

"Yeah, sure."

Gim and Gaz were similar in their goodbyes. "ugh! I was here for a day and I already want to go!"

"Yeah. I want you gone as well! I'm sick of losing." Gim grumbled and turned away.

"You whine too much. Plus, you didn't lose, it was a draw!"

"Same thing! Anyway, good bye." He put out his hand.

She took it and shook. "And good riddance!"

Only Deb and Dib seemed to care. The female put her hands in he pockets. "well, I guess this is it!"

He smiled. "Yup! It's been fun."

"Annoying, but fun." She pulled a little watch out of he pocket and handed it to the boy. "Here, so you can keep in touch. Hell, who knows, maybe you'll need our help again!"

He put it on and chuckled. "Yeah, it seems to run in the family, being sent to this dimension."

"Yeah, just watch; the NEXT generation of kids is gonna do the same exact thing!"

Dib laughed. "I'd die if that happened."

They smiled at each other.

"Okay!" tam took the remote of the panel. "I'm done with being sentimental. Now go home!"

Dib, Zim and Gaz stood close together as the alien pressed a few buttons and sent them back, bringing the dimensions back to normal.

Deb, Tam and Gim stood in silence for a moment before Gim headed toward the door. "I'm going home. I'll tell mom you're staying the night." He shut the door behind him.

"Yay! We're finally alone for good!" Tam then proceeded to jump Deb. "but, before we do anything I wanna show you what I meant by giving birth to smeet. Computer! Send me cell number 777 and 778."

Within seconds, two small glass containers were placed on the floor next to them. Curious, Deb picked them up to observe the label.

One said #777: Dib

The other: #778: Zim

She looked up from the containers. "What are these?"

"Sperm." Tam smirked and took a container away. "With this we can create a child that is ours in every way. Of course, I'll freeze them until we're ready for a child joining GIR in the destruction of my labs."

Deb smiled and hugged Tam lovingly.

((Zim's base))

the two boys landed on the ground harshly. Dib hit first, causing the floor to send a sharp pain up his tailbone. Zim landed on his lap with an "oof".

Gaz landed on the couch that the pair just barely missed, then stood up with a sigh. "I'm going home!" with that, she walked out the door just as GIR walked in.

The robot dropped his taco and gasped. "MASTER IS HOME!" then, with full speed, he rammed into the irken, nuzzling his chest. "you is wearing Dibby's clothes!"

he licked the bland gray face before Zim pushed him off. "No GIR! No licking!"

the robot paused. "Okkie dokkie!" he watched as Zim crawled off Dib's lap and stood up. GIR smiled as the former invader help the boy stand. "You two is good lovely pals now!"

They both paused and went to speak before the computer beat them. "Incoming transmission from the Tallest."

Zim's eyes narrowed, knowing what was coming.

Dib watched, worried, as the irken turned to the screen. "Zim…"

The Tallests' image popped up on screen. Red was the first to speak. "hi, Zim!" he waved, overly cheery.

Zim just stared.

"we just called to, uh, see how you're doing."

He continued to stay.

Purple pushed at his co-leader's shoulder. "just get to the point."

Red sighed. "Alright Zim, I'm just gonna tell you flat out. We--"

"Are bored out of your minds because all the true invaders are giving monotone reports and you only get to pummel them once a year." He crossed his arms. "So you're coming back to me in order to quench that desire for entertainment."

The Tallest stared at him wide eyed.

Red cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. That's right."

"And, in order to prove that your not going to try to destroy me or the planet I'm on, you will put it under the armada's protection and let me free from the empire that way I'm no longer under your control."

"…. Pretty much. Yeah."

Zim smiled. "Good." He pointed at them. "I accept your apology and will allow you to continue contact with me! Only as long as it doesn't disturb my," he cleared his throat, "research."

"One, I didn't apologize and tow what do you need to research? You don't invade anymore so." Purple stopped in mid sentence and glanced from Dib back to Zim. "oh. Oh!" he blushed. "Of course. Okay, that's all for now, Zim. Goodbye!" the screen went black as the transmission was cut.

Zim smirked at Dib. "And so ends a great rivalry." He grabbed the boy by the collar of his trench coat and crushed their lips together before the two fell back to the floor, ignoring GIR's cheers as he ran away.

* * *

Tapan: so /sniff sniff/ that's all!

Torna: who are you kidding? You still have all those side stories, any you left openings for lemons, AND you have that sequel.

Tapan: oh. Oh yeah! BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME!

Jhkitty: you whine too much.

Tapan: I need a hug/cries/

Torna/sighs and hugs/ there, there.

Jhkitty: I guess that leaves me with ending this thing…so THE END! And Review and stuff, so that the gerbils don't fly into your nightmares!


End file.
